The Scarlet Line
by Isabella387
Summary: Celeste, an artistic soul from France, comes to Germany with her mother to work for a wealthy family. In a town steeped in a sad history, she discovers what love means for two boys of the town. A tale of heartbreak,romance and friendship Hernst Mel/OC
1. Goodbye

Good Bye

The sun rose silently over the frozen ground. I gazed out the window, my old brown leather journal in my lap and a piece of charcoal from the kitchen fire in my hand eagerly sketching the quickly rising sun. I put the charcoal down on the stone window sill and took my prized possession out of my apron pocket, the red oil pastel my mama had gotten in an art set so many years ago. I had swiped it the night before papa died of the sickness. It was the most brilliant shade of red, scarlet, like the lips of a royal princess. Now the art set was gone and all that remained of it was that oil pastel, I only used small amounts of it in my drawings, careful not to waste the precious material. I drew a thin, but vivid, red line across the horizon of my drawing when I heard the door open behind me.

"Ferme la fenêtre, Celeste" my mama stood behind me, dressed, her black shall already draped around her shoulders. I stood up and pulled the dark purple curtains back over the glass of the window for the last time. Pulling on my own shall over my flowing white top I stuffed the bright red pastel into my pocket. I turned to look one more time at the room I had grown up in before picking up my bag.

Mama had told me about the job she had gotten about three months ago. We were moving to Germany. A wealthy family in a small farming town had need for our help. We had been moving from job to job around our little town in France, but now these kind people offered us a job in which we could spend our lives in peace. Mama had spoken with one of their other maids, she said they were very kind people; their only problem was their older son. The maid spoke of the son as if he was the devil himself. For this I was in no way excited to leave my home for a long two week trek to the boarder, and another three weeks till the little town. But it was what mama had wanted, and she needed me there with her. She did not speak any German, I did. If I did not go with her, then the job would not be her's. I had been teaching her for the past few months, basic fraises, "yes miss, no miss, yes mister, no mister" things like that. I was her translator, her key to a healthy job and life outside of France.

I stood and looked at my father's grave, cleared the foliage that had started to grow on the stone. I took the old dead dry flowers away from their place at the head of the grave and replaced them with fresh roses. I felt the tears welling in my eyes again as I kissed my father's grave and turned back to my mama who was standing by the coach. The horse that was tethered to the front of the coach tossed its black mane and neighed wanting to get out of the cold. I stepped into the coach and took one last look at the town; my town, my childhood, as the coach lurched forward propelling me towards my new life in Germany, serving the Rilow's.


	2. Meeting

Here is chapter two for you guys! Reviews make me happy inside!

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The house was magnificent. A fairly well sized wood and brick house perched on top of the only hill in the town, with a small servants' quarters next door and an even smaller stable in back. We never had anything like this in France. But I suppose it pays off when the master of the house is the only doctor for miles.

A cheery looking woman with bright blond hair piled on top of her head and a white high neck dress stood at the door; her smile big and bright. I identified this woman as Frau Rilow. Standing next to her was her husband; a fairly tall man with brown hair and a receding hairline wearing a simple black suit, Herr Rilow. He stepped out of the doorway to greet us.

"_Bonjour_," he said, doing his best attempt at French, "Welcome to our home. You can't imagine how grateful we are that you have decided to take this job Frau Chanson." My mother gave him a confused look. I turned to her quickly and began translating. As the words flew out of my mouth her confusion slowly began to recede as a smile painted her lips. I looked back at Herr Rilow and gave him a small sheepish look.

"My mother does not speak much German Herr Rilow; I am her translator, for the time being. She is a fast learner and can learn the language very quickly." My words sounded fumbled and worried through my thick accent.

"Not a problem," Frau Rilow interjected, "I speak a little French; communication can't be that difficult." She looked me up and down, "What is your name?"

"Celeste, Frau." I kept my eyes glued to the ground in at my feet, not wanting to look to aggressive.

She nodded, "How old are you?" I glanced up to her bright blue eyes.

"Me? I'm 15 Frau," I quickly averted my eyes.

"Perfect, you will work for our eldest son," My eyes, that had once been glued to dirt now jerked up and grew as big as grapefruits. I prayed I had heard her say something else, something more appealing. I prayed that she had not just assigned me to work for her older son, the one Mama's friend told her about, the devil.

"Yo-your eldest son Frau?" I stuttered slightly.

"Yes, Hanschen. He is not home at the moment he's at school but should be back- oh here he comes." Frau Rilow looked over my head, apparently looking at her son coming up the hill. I shut my eyes and began to pray.

Hanschen POV:

I hated fall, it was always freezing and always preceded horrific winters. The wind almost blew off my cap. I hated the wind, I mean my God, why did God give us wind? It served no purpose what so ever. It was like an ever changing mind, always confusing and always annoying. I swiped my blond hair out of my eyes and attempted to keep my head down out of the God forsaken wind.  
As I came over the hill I saw my mother and father talking with two people. Two women as it looked from where I was standing. I narrowed down who the two women could be to two options. Option one: New neighbors, possibly someone my mother had in mind for an arranged marriage. Or option two: The new servants that Mother had told me about. Whichever one it was, I was happy none the less. It wasn't until I got closer that the latter option looked more and more truthful.  
These people had their bags with them; Shabby clothes, and looked as though they had been traveling for days. Much to my surprise, they didn't smell as bad as I thought they might. Like I said, it was two women, a mother and what appeared to be her daughter. The mother had wrinkles all over her face, making her appear older than she probably was; her brown hair looked a little knotted, but was put up in an attempt to look fashionable. Her clothes, which seemed very old, were a dark blue cotton skirt and high neck powder blue sweater, over her shoulders she draped a black shall. Then my mother spoke up.  
"Hanschen, this is Frau Chanson and her daughter. They are the new help that I told you about this morning," I won, "her daughter will be assisting you, considering the last one that we assigned you left." This one probably wouldn't as last long as the previous one. I circled the girl her looking her up and down. Brown hair like her mother's, but down and wind tattered. Her clothes, much to my surprise, were much more provocative than anything I had ever seen the girls in town wear; Brown burlap looking skirt that didn't cover her ankles, a white top that didn't cover her shoulders or much of her neckline, and dirty, worn leather flats. She kept her head down, so I didn't see her face.  
"Look at me," I commanded and she lifted her head. She looked a very plain for the most part; her skin was pale, her lips a tinge of rose, her nose was small . . . but her eyes were the most drastic part of her being. Deep blue, like the ocean I had seen in paintings, dark and stormy. But they were full of something I quite enjoyed: fear.

Celeste's POV:

"Look at me." He said in a low, menacing tone. I looked up as I was instructed to do and looked straight into the face of what I thought was death. But if death was painful at least it was handsome. He had blond hair that looked like spun gold, high cheek bones and a well set chin. But the first thing I noticed was his eyes. Dark hazel, like a sunset I had seen on my way across the border, tinted with red and screaming of fire. They were full of something I rarely had seen on the other people I worked for; smugness laced with brutality and intelligence. Fear struck at my heart like a like a bomb. He nodded towards his mother who gave a big smile, like she had given him a wonderful gift.  
"Well now that we have all of that sorted out, Hanschen will show you to your new home and give you some assignments, once again welcome to Germany." I looked sideways to Hanschen who had a huge smirk on his face. If this was my new master than my life was due to be very long and very difficult.


	3. Work

Ok, I saw Hanschen's nickname in the original play and i could NOT resist! hahahahahahaha. Enjoy!

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Celeste's POV

"You'll be residing here," Hanschen said as he threw open the door to our new living space. The place was cold. Cold cement floor, cold brick walls, cold black oven in the corner for heating. I nodded to mama who went to put her stuff down after the long journey. I started to walk inside the room when I felt Hanschen's hand grip my shoulder, forcing me to turn around. "You, come with me." He turned around and started to walk away. I quickly dropped my things and followed him, jogging to catch up. He talked over his shoulder to me, "I will show you the house before I give you your assignments that are to be fulfilled every day; do I make myself clear?" I nodded without opening my mouth he turned around quickly to face me, "Do you have any idea what I'm saying?" he raised his voice a little annunciating his words even more, like I was some stupid little child.

"I speak German, sir." I know I tried to sound as brave as I could, but my thick accent foiled this. He chuckled to himself quietly, obviously finding my accent amusing.

"Very well," He pushed the door open to the main house, "This is the main room. The floors need a good scrubbing once a week, that'll be your mother's job." As soon as he finished the sentence a little girl, no more than five years, with blond hair flew down the stairs at lightning speed.

"HANSI!" she screamed and ran to him. He lifted the child up into his arms. She hugged her little arms around his neck as though she hadn't seen him in years. "Who's that?" She pointed at me.

"This is, um," He looked at me with a blank look on his face, I had never told him my name.

"Celeste," I stated quickly to cover up his loss of thought, "and what is your name?"

"This is my little sister, Amalie," I looked closer at the child; she looked so much like her older brother. Blond hair, pale skin, same nose, proportioned features. The only thing that differed them was their eye color; her eyes were bright blue, like her mother's, and dancing with childhood. Amalie looked at me carefully then smiled.

"I like her! She talks funny," Hanschen smiled at his little sister. I smiled too.

"I have to show her around the house, so go play with your dolls or something." He put the child down, who nodded and ran off with a smile still on her face.

"She seems like a pleasant child," I glanced at Hanschen whose smile had disappeared like ice on a hot summer day. He began walking again. I followed grudgingly. He led me around the house like a dog showing me everything that needed to be shown. The kitchen, where all the meals would be cooked; the dining room, where meals were served; the living space, the wash room, everything. When we finally went upstairs I was surprised at the small amount of rooms there compared to the rest of the house.

"This is my room; I expect my clothes to be pressed and clean, got it?" The room itself was small, plain, simple. A wood desk sat in one corner, neatly organized and clean. In another corner sat his bed, which was also very neat and clean. The single window in his room looked over the town and a vineyard nearby.

"Yes, sir," every time I said that to him I could feel his ego growing slightly. It was like feeding a fire.

"I have one more thing to show you," We walked out of the big house, past the servants' quarters, and into the small stable. It smelt of hay and animals, but from what I could see there were no animals, until I heard a loud whinny come from behind. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw the two horses behind me; a large black one and a smaller white one. "My pride and joy," he said petting the muzzle of the black horse, "These guys need to be fed every day, the hay goes here, "he pointed to a trough, "And you can get the hay from there," he pointed to the loft, "And that's it. You better get started." He headed out of the stable leaving me with the horses.

I slowly walked toward the horses. I recognized the black one as the horse that pulled our carriage. I attempted to touch its muzzle as Hanschen had, letting it know I wasn't going to hurt it. But what I received was a loud neigh and a bucking horse. I was so startled that I actually fell back. This would definitely take some getting used to. I quickly left the stable, afraid I would spook the horse again, wishing I was back in France.

Hanschen's POV

I stared blankly at my homework that I had just done. I had checked it three times and yet I still looked at it. I guess I was trying to keep my eyes glued to something else other than my window. It had been almost 6 months since then, and still I could not get it out of my head. I sat next to him in class, I walked with him home, and I talked to him. Things I had never done before, well not till then.

Eventually I shut my books and climbed out the window. Headed toward the vineyard where I knew he would be, hoping to clear my thoughts.

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Sooooooo, loved it? hated it? think I should die in a hole for not including Ernst in this chapter yet? TELL ME! click the little review button, come on you know you want to!


	4. Apples and Kisses

ALRIGHTY! here's chapter four!

Thank you Hasnchenfangirl for my first review on the story!

So enjoy chapter four! cause Ernst is in here

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Celeste's POV

My first day on the job was more brutal than you can imagine. No one in their right mind should have to wake up before the sun rises. Thankfully I was out of my right mind, currently working for Hanschen and all. And I had to wake up early to get some of my work done if there was any hope for having time for myself.

I quietly let myself into the house, careful not to wake anyone, if I did there would most likely be punishment and I did not have any desire to experience that. The first thing on my list was Hanschen's clothes. I had washed men's clothes before; when my father was alive I always helped Mama with the laundry. So once again doing laundry for a boy did not bother me as much as it might have for a new maid. I pressed his clothes, as he had instructed, and began to fold them when some small piece of crumpled paper fell out of one of his pockets. It was a series of numbers scribbled and organized in a specific way: 13 5 5 20/ 13 5/ 9 14/ 20 8 5/ 22 9 14 5 25 1 18 4/ 20 8 9 19/ 1 6 20 5 18 14 15 15 14/5 18 14 19 20. I didn't understand what the writing meant, but I assumed it was some of Hanschen's homework so I placed it back on top of the pile of clothes and began walking up the stairs.

When I arrived at Hanschen's room the door was slightly ajar, allowing me access without waking him up. I laid the clothes and the paper on a chair when I felt a cold breeze blow through the window. You know, you would think, that in the middle of winter it might be smart to close the damn thing and keep the heat inside the house. But no, Captain Genius decided to leave it open possibly in an attempt to freeze to death.

Once the window was shut I turned to walk out and feed the horses when I noticed Hanschen. Still in bed, and fast asleep. Despite what my first impression was he looked like an angel when he was fast asleep, though I knew he was far from that.

Not even twelve hours had passed since the last time I was in the stable. Facing your fears obviously came fairly quickly. It's not that I was totally afraid of horses . . . just the black one. They hay was much heavier than it looked and loading it into the trough was no easy task. I mean really, I had to climb the ladder, in a skirt, throw the hay down to the ground, then climb back down, un rope the hay, then load it into the trough. I would have to do this every day.

I was almost done loading the trough when I felt a gentle nudge on my back. I turned around quickly to see the little white horse nudging at my hand. From the second contact was made I was certain that this horse was much less aggressive than the black one that Hanschen loved so dearly. The horse put its creamy muzzle to my hand as if to say it wouldn't hurt me. I petted its mane and knew I had made but one friend in this foreign land.

I came back into the house just in time to help serve breakfast to the Rilow's. Amalie picked at the food set in front of her, apparently not wanting to eat whatever it was the cook had prepared for her. Frau Rilow ate her food quietly while Herr Rilow rambled on about his work and the news from Berlin. And Hanschen . . . well Hanschen ate his food in silence staring me down as if we were in some draw. I walked away in silence, but I could feel Hanschen's eyes piercing the back of my skull, I had only been here a day, there couldn't possibly be something that I had already done wrong.

But work was never done around this house. I was helping mama scrub the floors in the entry way when the cook came up and tapped me on the shoulder. She was a stout woman, or at least I thought she was a woman, she had a hairy lip and a unibrow that made her seem slightly frightening to me.

"You," She looked at me sternly and spoke with a thick Italian accent. I attempted to not look at the large mole on her upper lip, but I couldn't help it, "I need you to go to vineyard and get apples from store manager, yes?" I nodded, taking the money from her and high tailed it out of the house as quick as my feet could possibly carry me.

The walk from the Rilow's to the Vineyard wasn't too long of a walk. And the store in the front of the house was very quiet.

"Hello? Is anybody here?" I looked around the store waiting for someone to come forth when a sound of crashing boxes from the back startled me. A young man, about Hanschen's age stumbled over the boxes, falling to the ground. I quickly dropped the basket I had picked up before I left and when to help the young man up.

"Are you ok?" I said pulling the kid to his feet.

"Fine, just fine," he assured me brushing of his apron. He looked like a frantic little kid. His black hair was falling into his face and his build was much skinnier than Hanschen's. He had light blue eyes and a voice much higher than any other boy's I've heard. "What can I help you with?" he looked at me with a shy smile.

"I just came to ask permission to pick some apples from the trees in the vineyard. Is that ok?" He nodded and offered to help me. Turns out this kids name was Ernst, he was in the same class as Hanschen and seemed to be his polar opposite. He was kind, open, and a little naïve.

"Celeste, that's a name you don't hear too often," we walked down the rows of grape vines and fruit trees.

"Well my name translates heavenly and my last name translates to song." He laughed a little

" Heavenly Song? That's different."

"Well my father named me. He heard the church bells ringing the morning I was born and he told my mother that it was a sign that God had sent them an angel, namely me." He nodded; I spotted a small gold cross held around his neck by a thin chain.

"So where exactly are you from?" he asked setting up a small ladder underneath one of the trees.

"A small town in France, you probably haven't heard of it." I slowly climbed the ladder pulling apples from their tree.

"So what are you doing here? I mean, there really isn't that much here to see or do."

"I came with my mother; we're working for one of the families here. She doesn't speak any German, so I had to come with her." I started down the ladder my basket full of apples, "Not that I would want to stay by myself in France anyway." He laughed and gathered the ladder and we started back towards the house.

"Um, pardon me for asking, but which family are you working for?"

"The Rilows," I stated bluntly. He stopped dead in his tracks

"H-Hanschen's family?" the look on his face was one of confusion and nervousness.

"Yes, is that a problem?"

"No- not at all," His voice jumped to an octave I didn't know a male voice could go to. I knew he was lying to my face. There was something suspicious about how the way he dismissed the subject. Maybe Hanschen was picking on him at school; maybe he was just afraid of him. Any way there was something between those two that I was determined to find out.

Hanschen's POV

A thousand questions flew through my head like fire. _How did she get a hold of the note? Did she figure out what it said? No, how could she figure out what it said! But what if she did?_ I fell down onto my bed exhausted by my own thoughts, Ernst's note sitting on my bedside table. I swear this boy would be the death of me.

I got off my bed and ran downstairs, and out the back door, I was half way down the hill when I ran into that new servant girl. What was her name? Something with a C. . . Christine? Celestial? CELESTE!

"You should watch where you're going." I brushed myself off and began helping her put the apples back into her basket. Wait, apples? I picked one up and held it close to my face, "Where did you get these?" my eyes not leaving the piece of fruit.

"The cook sent me to get some from the Robel's vineyard."

"Did you talk to anyone?" she lowered her eyes quickly

"Only the boy, Ernst," My head snapped up. Her voice became frantic and she looked as if she had done something horribly wrong, "I'm sorry, I didn't know I wasn't supposed to talk to anyone." I placed the apple into her basket and stood up.

"Its fine, go home," she nodded and started walking quickly back up towards the house. So I started running towards the vineyard. They had talked. If he had told her ANYTHING we were both totally fucked.

I rapped on the front door of the Robel's house and waited impatiently for someone to answer. Finally, Frau Robel answered the door.

"Hanschen, it's good to see you," she looked, if memory serves, nothing like her son. She was a stout woman, pudgy, without a hair out of place. Her son on the other had was on the taller side, thin, and couldn't keep his hair in place for the life of him.

"It's good to see you to Frau Robel," I attempted to be as polite as possible, "Is Ernst home?" she nodded and stepped aside to let me in.

She yelled upstairs, "ERNST! Hanschen Rilow is here to see you." She stepped aside again to let me walk up stairs.

When I arrived at Ernst's room the door was slightly ajar allowing me to see inside. Ernst was sitting at his desk, bent over his bible, as always. I knocked on the door jamb; boy nearly jumped three feet out of his skin.

"H-Hanschen, you startled me," he looked frantic as always, although he had gotten more and more used to my being there.

"You talked to my new servant today." I walked into the room and he suddenly became tense.

"Was I not supposed to?"

"Did you tell her anything?" He shook his head.

"Of course not! I barely know her, you know we can't trust anyone; not after what happened to the, um, others." His looked down. And I walked toward him and leaned up against his desk. There was a small silence before he spoke again, "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I wasn't supposed to talk to her."

I place a hand on his chin and tilted his head up, "I never said you couldn't talk to her, I was just worried that you told her something." I placed a kiss on his lips to let him know I wasn't mad at him. He graciously accepted that offer.

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So? how'd I do? what do you think... Reviews make me happy on the inside!


	5. The Music Box

YAY! CHAPTER 5!!!!!!

THANK YOU CANDYGLUE FOR YOUR REVIEW! I'm happy that Celeste has found her way onto your good side!

Enjoy chapter 5 guys!

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Church was always a chance for me to clear my head. Sundays were also the only day of the week I had off from my job.

The church was, simple really. It was an old white building with the paint only peeling in a few places. A church bell up in the steeple and old wooden pews lining the isles. The most ornate thing about the place was probably the altar. It was carved so delicately and with such detail it certainly deserved the place it had at the head of the church beneath the big wood cross.

Since Mama and I weren't exactly considered real members of the town we sat towards the back. She didn't listen to the sermon simple because she didn't understand it. She just sat there reading her bible from home. I barely listened to the sermon myself. I simply switched over my mind to its French setting and blocked the whole thing out and spent my time observing the members of the town.

Every one had something distinct about them. There was one girl sitting up near the front, unable to sit still in a grey frock with her braids made up so tightly with grease there was no possible way that any hair could come loose. She was making faces at the girl behind her whom I guessed was her good friend. She was wearing a pink dress with little flowers all over it and her hair was frizzy and unkempt, but still pretty and put into two pigtails with matching ribbons. In front of them sat one more girl and her parents. She did not smile and looked a little frighten. Everything about her was in order from her head to her toe. Her father was sitting next to her and had his arm around her protectively, obviously making her uncomfortable.

The boys in the room were a different story entirely. Two of them sat next to each other whispering in hushed voices pointing at the girls across the room. The taller of the two looked fairly average with glasses, his foot tapped rhythmically on the ground as if it was a metronome. The smaller one was pudgier, curly hair and couldn't seem to focus all that much. Then there was Hanschen sitting near the front with his family; Amalie was sitting next to him nearly falling asleep, she didn't get very much the night before. He was very tentative, but he too looked as though he didn't get much sleep last night. Then over on the side was Ernst, eagerly listening to the sermon, his hands around a rosary. He was sitting next to his mother and father, from what I could tell.

There were other children in the room, but none worth mentioning. It was if they were all robots obeying everything that was said to them; like blind sheep following a convincing voice. It seemed like they didn't even realize what was really going on behind all this.

Since Papa died, I didn't like very much to go to church. Church had always been Papa's favorite thing. He loved the church bells, knew every hymn and quoted the bible in his daily life. Growing up my bedtime stories were those from the bible. When he got sick, I prayed almost all day. I begged, _please God, make my father well again and take this horrible disease away from him!_ It didn't work, so I lost my faith.

Before long, People started moving out of their seats and towards the door. I tapped Mama on the shoulder to let her know it was time to go back home. We paused outside and waited for the Rilow's to stop talking with the other families when I noticed the graves in that wrapped around the side of the church and went to go investigate.

There were so many little graves. These people, these mere children, had not lived long. Two fairly new ones caught my eye. I knelt to see what they read. I could only decipher the names. One grave read: _Moritz Stiefel. _The other one read: _Wendla Bergman. _Both had died in the same year, this year. It nearly tore my heart to see how close these kids were in age compared with me. I couldn't read anything else on the graves because I simply couldn't read German at the time. But I could read numbers and names because they were the same in French as they were in German. Papa had promised to teach me to read German, but he passed before he could even teach me the months of the year.

I jumped when I felt a cold hand on my shoulder and whipped around to see Hanschen standing behind me. His eyes turned to the graves, a sort of solemn look on his face.

"Did you know them?" I asked still kneeling on the ground. He nodded then turned around without another word, not wanting to talk about the two bodies buried six feet beneath us.

I jumped up and followed him. We passed Ernst who looked at us, his eyes flicking more towards Hanschen. I looked at Hanschen to see his reaction; he looked at Ernst and smiled. Not a creepy smile like I had seen a few times before, but a true genuine smile. Like the way he smiled around Amalie But within a second it was gone. This made me even more confused than I already was.

Nighttime fell upon the house fairly quickly. I had been sitting in the stable, sketching the horses among other things I had seen that day. The Altar, the graves, even a few of the people, I added a little red to it all. The cross, the lettering on the graves, and the dresses of the three girls I had seen all got a hue of scarlet added.

There was a knock at the stable door, it came from Frau Rilow.

"Celeste, the chef needs your help in the kitchen," she stated politely; work was never done around here was it? I nodded and closed my book. She glanced down at the little brown leather thing and looked interested, "do you write?" I shook my head.

"I draw, Frau." She smiled that warm welcoming smile that I had seen the first day. I missed smiles like that for the past week and a half.

The dishes were done quickly. I don't think I could have stayed much longer around Mrs. Manlady. My eyelids drooped and I felt very tired, it didn't help that I knew there was much more work tomorrow. On my way out the door I heard footsteps. I looked upstairs; Hanschen was carrying his little sister back to her room. She probably had a nightmare. What I wasn't expecting is what happened next.

I heard…. Music; coming from Amalie's room. It was faint, but I definitely heard it. Once again my curiosity got the best of me, so I mounted the stairs and went to go investigate.

Hanschen's POV

I was trying to finish up my homework for Latin the next day when Amalie knocked on my door.

"Hansi?" She had her little stuffed bear in her hand and looked very tired.

"What is it?" she walked slowly into my room, as if frightened by something that wasn't even there.

"I had a bad dream and I can't sleep." I sighed; she had had a bad dream every night this week. This was taking a toll on my sleep pattern as well. My homework load had nearly doubled due to the oncoming midterms, Amalie had bad nightmares, and it took a while to convince Ernst to stop worrying about how much time I sleep. Amalie never went to Mother and Father because Mother was always telling her to grow up and learn how to be a woman who wasn't afraid, and Father was usually asleep by nine.

"Okay, let's put you back to sleep." I picked her up and carried her down the dark hallway back to her room. I put her back into her bed and drew the covers up around her chin. There was only one way to finally get her to sleep without nightmares.

I wound the key on the back of her music box that she had gotten for her first birthday. That thing had been in there for her entire life. Since she could walk down to my room to tell me she had a nightmare I had always come into her room and let the music box run by itself. After some time, simply the tune from the music box could not put her to sleep. So I began telling her made up stories while the music played in the back. Soon after that, the stories became a song and the song became the cure for the nightmares. I sat down on her bed and sang softly to her as she drifted off into sleep.

_There once was a pirate_

_Who put out to sea_

_His mates all around him,_

_No maiden on his knee_

_Oh sail for a little_

_A little little little_

_Oh sail for a little_

_Till she finds him_

_There once was a maiden_

_Who wandered the meed_

_To gather blue violets_

_Her mama would need_

_Oh wail through the willows_

_I'll hollow through the willows_

_She'll wail through the willows_

_Until she finds him_

_The sea was so violent_

_The crew went below_

_They begged him to join them_

_But he would not go_

_Oh sail a little little_

_For just a little little_

_He'll sail for a little_

_Till she finds him_

_Her heart was so laden_

_She fell by a tree_

_And sang of some pirate_

_Who haunted the sea_

_Oh wail through the willows_

_I'll hollow through the willows_

_She'll wail through the willows_

_Until she finds him_

_Oh wail through the willows_

_I'll hollow through the willows_

_She'll wail through the willows_

_Until she finds him_

_He'll sail for a little_

_A little little little_

_He'll sail for a little_

_Till she finds him_

_He'll sail for a little_

_Till she finds him. _

I don't think that Amalie ever fully understood what that song was about, but none the less she fell asleep with ease. I sighed in relief and went to return to my Latin. I walked out of the room and saw Celeste, leaning up against the wall, obviously listening in. She saw me and immediately straightened.

"I didn't know that you sang." She said with curiosity and wonder.

"I don't," I replied and walked past her towards my room when she spoke up again.

"You're very good." That was all that was said that night between us

Once I reached my room I fell down onto my bed, my eyelids heavy. Latin could wait till morning, couldn't it?

Celeste's POV

I never knew he could sing. It was … beautiful? Not a common adjective I'd usually pair with Hanschen at the time but it was true. Everything about it was beautiful, from the small tune the music box played to the way his voice glided over the notes.

I simply could not accept the simple answer he gave me of, "I don't". That simple song, though sad and full of meaning, was the most beautiful thing I had heard all week.

I smiled at his back as he walked away. I now finally had proof that underneath this devil was a person who cared. Maybe not about me, but about someone.

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sooooooooooo? do you like it? plot thickens after this chapter!!!!!!!!

R+R! DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT!


	6. Upsidedown

Oh my sweet suffering Jesus, This chapter took me so long to write. I've been working on it since I published Chapter 5!!!!

But I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter!!!! DRAMATIC CHAPTER AHEAD!

Since I haven't done this yet... DISCLAIMER!: I DO NOT OWN SPRING AWAKENING... if I did it would still be running!

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Hanschen's POV

As midterms grew closer and closer the more stressed I became. I wanted to explode! Ever since Melchior Gabor got expelled, the teachers treated me like him. Expected me to be the best student! And sadly, since Moritz died, the teachers had found a new target, Ernst. Now trust me here, Ernst was never and _would_ _never_ be considered as low as that boy. I personally would not allow it. The difference between Ernst and Moritz was that Moritz would fall asleep during class from sleepless nights, haunted by dreams or something because he was confused. He never listened to what was going on around him. I noticed the small things. Thankfully for Ernst, he had me. I made sure that he would never sink that low. And Ernst, unlike Moritz, wasn't confused about what was going on with him. Of course there was some internal conflict, between what his body was telling him and what his beloved Bible was instructing him to do.

On the brighter side of life, if there was one at the time, was that Christmas break was drawing nearer and nearer. Though for many people in our little sleepy town, Christmas usually meant midnight mass. We all loved the break for different reasons. I loved it because it relieved me of my stress. Georg loved it because he was always asked to play the piano for mass, which meant longer lessons with his beloved teacher; I never understood what he saw in that woman. Otto loved it for simpler reasons, that simpler reason being the feast that his mother put together Christmas night. As you can probably guess, Ernst loved it because of mass. He was the only our age that actually enjoyed hearing the same story; year after year. Truth be told, I never did like Christmas mass, it bored me half to death. Stories can become repetitive and over time, lose their meaning. And yet it amazed me that Ernst could sit still for such a long period of time listening to the same story over and over and over. He was simple in that way, easily entertained by something he loved.

But before we could get to break we had to get passed the midterms. My father always said, "Studying is the best way to ensure your future life," but with all the studying it was hard to believe I'd actually make it to that future life. I needed to relax or there was no way I was going to pass the test. Being shut up in your room on a Saturday for six hour studying never helped in the slightest. Thankfully, my mother saw my suffering and decided to "add a more pleasant experience to my studying hours," that was by far the best idea she ever had, though she never knew what she was getting into.

She invited Ernst over to our house; to be my study partner. You see, Frau Robel and my mother were extremely close friends, they grew up together and practically had their weddings within a week of each other, so when Ernst and I became "good friends" study sessions at one of our houses were set up frequently; thankfully for the two of us.

Celeste's POV

While setting the table for dinner on a Friday evening Frau Rilow tapped me on the shoulder.

"Celeste, we don't need that many places tonight," Frau Rilow stood behind me wearing a black dress that made her blue eyes stand out even more; she was fixing one of her earrings.

"Are you going somewhere this evening, Frau?" She nodded.

"Herr Rilow and I are going to a dinner party at the Lammermeier's," She finally got her earring fixed, "So; you only need three places tonight."

"Three places? But if you and Herr Rilow are gone, that only leaves Amalie and Hanschen."

"And Hanschen's friend." She said. I was puzzled.

"Hanschen's friend?" I asked her, she nodded again.

"Yes, he's a boy from school, Ernst Robel," The boy from the vineyard was Hanschen's _friend?_ "They have their middle terms coming up and need to study. Can you also make sure that Amalie gets to bed by eight please?"

She walked out of the room and I picked up one of the plates so there were only three places. I thought to myself _tonight will certainly be interesting. _

Hanschen's POV

Ernst and I walked back to my house slowly, as if to savor the time we had alone before my parents and Amalie hounded the boy with questions. For some reason Ernst became even more tense around my family than he was around teachers. I guess it was because he didn't like to keep secrets from them or something, but he knew we couldn't tell them.

I put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a smile. He gave me an unsure one back.

"Don't worry Ernst, you've been over many times before, nothing has changed."

"I know it's just," he stopped, "every time I come over, and every time they ask me questions it gets harder and harder." He turned his head down and sighed, poor boy had a conscience that was way to overactive.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him off the open road into the brush and crushed my lips against his, to reassure him that this secret was worth keeping. He pulled back for air and smiled at me. I put my hand on his cheek and rested my forehead against his.

"Do not worry Ernst, it's going to be fine." He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I know, I know." He pulled me back to him and kissed me again

We walked in the door and were greeted by my parents who looked a little too dressed up to be joining us for dinner. My father dressed in his Sunday best suit and my mother dressed in her favorite black dress. Ernst and I looked at each other with a slightly confused look on our faces. I cleared my throat rather loudly, my mother looked up from her purse which she was organizing and smiled.

"Hanschen, Ernst, good to see you boys made it home on time. We were just heading over to the Lammermeier's for a dinner party," Her voice was rushed, she looked as though she was in a hurry, "I would have asked you boys to come along with us, but we know that you have studying to do," My father rushed passed her towards the door whispering to her that they needed to go. She nodded and followed in suit, "Dinner will be on the table at six, Amalie needs to be in bed by eight, and Ernst," Ernst looked up astonished, "your mother and father will be at the dinner party too so you may stay over if you wish." She kissed me on my head, "I love you and have a good night boys." She walked out the door and shut it behind her. Ernst looked at me, dumbfounded.

"What just happened?" he asked pointing to the door.

"What just happened is that my mother and my father are both out of the house for the night, and Amalie will be asleep by eight and the house is pretty much ours." I gave him a sly smile and winked at him. He blushed, but then that's what I expected.

"Only pretty much," I heard a thick French accent come from the door way behind me. It was Celeste; her shoulders wrapped in a black shall to shield them from the chilly night air. Our eyes met for a second but hers turned down first and stayed turned down, "Your mother asked me to look after Amalie while you two studied." She looked up at Ernst and gave him a warm smile which he returned, "Dinner will be ready in a couple hours, I will call you down when it is." She walked passed us towards the kitchen obviously to help, she was carrying a small brown leather journal with her, I didn't think too much about the journal at the time. As soon as she was out of sight, I grabbed Ernst's hand and dragged him up the stairs.

"H-Hanschen, where are we going?" He yanked his hand out of mine and looked at me confused.

"We are going up to my room," his face went red, "to study. What did you think we were going to do?"

"I- I don't know," He trailed off; I grabbed his hand again and dragged him toward my room.

Celeste's POV:

I was working alongside my mother and Mrs. Manlady in the kitchen, preparing dinner. My mother and I were peeling potatoes while Mrs. Manlady worked on some sort of stew in a pot. There was an unhealthy silence settled over us only disrupted by the noises we made shuffling from one part of the kitchen to the next. I broke the silence, something was bothering me.

"So what is the story between Ernst and Hanschen?" I asked the cook.

She sighed and began to talk, "no one is quite sure. All I know is that in my fourteen years of working for Herr and Frau Rilow, never have I seen a tighter pair of friends than Ernst and Hanschen. It must be in their genetics, I suppose."

"Genetics?"

"Why yes, Frau Rilow and Frau Robel have been the closest of friends since they were little. Now that they both have sons I believe it's natural that they are friends as well." With that she dismissed the topic and returned to… whatever it was she was cooking.

Hanschen's POV

We had been studying for about an hour and a half. I was sitting at my desk with my Latin book in my hand, occasionally glancing over the top to see if Ernst was still working. He was lying on my bed bent over trigonometry work. He never seemed to waver from his enthusiastic studying. His patience amazed me. Mine however wavered and finally broke; I was bored. Suddenly a wonderful idea popped into my head.

I put my book down on my lap and glared at Ernst, "Ernst, stop distracting me." He looked up at me and gave me a look as if to say, "What are you talking about?"

"But, I'm not doing anything to distract you."

"Aren't you?" I sauntered over towards my bed, talking as I went, "You are in _my_ room, sitting on _my _bed; wearing, shall we say, very well fitting clothes." I sat down on me bed next to him and leaned to whisper in his ear, "and there is nothing I can do about it." He visibly reacted by shuttering.

"Oh can't you?" it was my turn to be confused. I attempted to ask him "what?" but he captured my lips with his own. Truth be told, in the beginning I had been the instigator of, well, everything that happened between us. But after thorough large amounts of coaxing and "lessons" Ernst was becoming a little more, how do I put this, abrasive. And I loved it.

We stayed in that position, me straddling his hips while he leaned against by head board, kissing for some time, till a knock at the door forced us to break apart so quickly that Ernst almost fell off the bed completely. I ran and opened the door to see little Celeste standing there.

"Dinner is ready." She said and went to go grab Amalie from her room. I shut the door and let out a sigh of relief. I then looked at Ernst whose eyes were practically popping out of his head.

"That was close," I said, giving him a seductive smile.

"Too close," He corrected and hopped off my bed walking towards the door. He got passed me, until I grabbed him around the waist and pulled him too me and kissed him on his neck. He nearly melted there in my hand, but he quickly came to reality and pulled away, "too close," he said again, and once again started walking down stairs. I smiled at his back, tonight would be so much fun.

Celeste's POV:

I sat by the door of the kitchen during dinner so I could see the dining room. The idea of these two polar opposites being friends both fascinated me and frightened me. But I was more fascinated than frightened.

On one hand there was Ernst, who had been kind to me from the moment I met him. Who didn't stop talking to me until I mentioned that I worked for Hanschen. And then on the other hand was Hanschen, who I didn't think was capable of not talking down to everyone he knew. Who got off on control and used his intelligence against people. It was an act of nature that I had only heard about in stories and yet this friendship was portrayed right in front of my face. It was truly remarkable.

I didn't eat that night, I was sitting by the door of the kitchen simply because I was working on a drawing, or portrait really. I was drawing Hanschen. He was an interesting person, and one face that I certainly didn't want to forget. I was adding the finishing touches with my red pastel to his eyes when he called, "Celeste, we are finished you may clear the plates." I shut my book and went to clear the table. And that's when I noticed something odd.

Hanschen and Ernst were walking out of the room when I saw Hanschen give Ernst a smile. Not a caring smile like I had seen him give Amalie. Or that creepy smug smile he often gave me when I didn't do something perfectly. But this smile was, seductive? It stunned me. Truly it did. Once again my mind was thrown into a frenzy and began asking questions; questions such as, "What was going on between these two that they aren't telling anyone?"

Hanschen's POV:

The hours ticked by ever so slowly after dinner. Once I put Amalie to bed, the fun began.

I walked back into the room to see Ernst where he was before we were so rudely interrupted, lying on my bed looking at work for the mid-finals. He looked so stressed, well at least that was my minds excuse to "relieve him" of said stress. I shut my door and he looked up as I walked over to him.

"Now, where were we?" I asked him, kissing him forcefully. He pulled back after realizing what was happening.

"No," he rested his hands on my chest, "We were almost caught last time."

"Almost being the operative word," I grabbed one of his hands and kissed it lightly, "Amalie is in bed, asleep. The servants are in their quarters, most likely asleep as well. My parents won't be home till at least midnight. So who's going to catch us?" and with that my hands dropped to his waist and my lips found his neck. And with that, he gladly stopped worrying and began to … relax.

Celeste's POV:

I couldn't believe my stupidity. I had forgotten my journal in the kitchen of the main house that night. I didn't want to leave it just lying there; should someone spill something on it or, God forbid, look at it! I wrapped my shall around my shoulders and quickly ran over to the house.

I was glad to see it was where I left it; sitting on the counter. I let out a sigh of relief and grabbed it. I was walking out the door when I heard an odd noise coming from upstairs. It was a moan. It was coming from the direction of Hanschen's room, which made it even more suspicious.

I walked slowly towards Hanschen's room. The door was ajar and a gas lamp was still lit. I peaked inside the door and saw something I never thought I would ever see.

There on sitting on the bed was Hanschen and Ernst. Hanschen was kissing Ernst's neck. Ernst was lying back against Hanschen's head board, eyes closed. Both of their shirts were littered to the floor. I gasped, a little louder than I probably should have. I clamped my hand over my mouth and rushed out of the house as quickly and quietly as possible.

Every thing was so clear now, Hanschen and Ernst were together. My world had been turned upsidedown

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BUM BUM BUM! *plays dramatic music* WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT! only I know, but only you can review this... SO REVIEW!!!!! and let it be known that this was MOST CERTAINLY not written in one day, if it was my life would be so much easier. R&R!!!!


	7. The Angel and the Devil

OH MY GOODNESS! Ok, so this chapter I believe to be epic!!! Enjoy!

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Hanschen's POV

I sat up in my bed extremely quickly. I thought I had just woken up from the most magnificent dream; but when I turned and saw Ernst lying in my bed asleep like the little angle he was I was assured that what happened the night before was no dream. It had really happened. I lied back down next to Ernst and pulled him close to me and kissed his shoulder. He stirred and looked at me; he smiled and turned to face me.

"Good morning," he said quietly.

"Good morning to you too," I kissed him on his forehead, "last night was _fun_ wasn't it, Ernst." A blush painted his cheeks. Even after what had happened last night he still blushed at the thought that we did what we did.

"Well yes-I mean- I, um- enjoyed it. Wait did you-?" I laughed quietly to myself, he stopped his incessant stuttering.

"I enjoyed it very much, Ernst." I kissed him again, but then he pulled back and his eyes turned down, like he was worried or something. "What's wrong?" I asked him, he didn't answer for a while.

"Hanschen, I- last night- I heard someone at the door." He looked scared now; I attempted to keep a calm face. If I started to become worried Ernst would be too. In my mind, everything shut down at once, and then restarted with thoughts ripping my head in two like fire. _Amalie was fast asleep! Mother and father weren't even home yet! _And then it hit me like a ton of bricks _Celeste_. I didn't want to worry Ernst.

"It's ok Ernst, you probably imagined it. You needn't worry." He nodded and tried to give me a smile though it was unsure and scared. Once again a knock at the door startled us both. I grabbed my night shirt that was lying near my bed and threw it on before opening the door just enough to see outside, not wanting to expose Ernst who was quite without clothing. Much to my surprise, it was my mother who stood outside my door, rather than the servant I needed to talk to.

"Hanschen, breakfast is ready when you two are." She gave me her award winning smile that apparently was the reason was the reason my father married her. Ah yes, the bond of love over a simple facet of beauty was a truly remarkable force to be reckoned with. My parents had been married for around 20 years, and yet my father insisted that it was that smile that won his heart. I certainly didn't buy it. My mother was an extremely kind and understanding woman; though if she found out what I had been doing with Ernst while her back was turned I don't think she would be as kind and understanding.

I nodded and shut the door and turned back to Ernst who looked at me worried. I smiled at him as if to say, "don't worry about it." Sitting on the bed, I kissed him softly then laughed quietly to myself.

"What?" he asked now giving me a real smile. I glanced down his naked body lying in my bed.

"Do you plan on going down to breakfast dressed like that?" I asked him smiling. He glance down realizing his lack of pants, blushed for about the 10th time this morning and shook his head violently. "You can borrow one of my night shirts." I walked over to my dresser and pulled one out to give it to him. He threw it on and stood up. It was way too big for his small frame. But I'm not going to lie; I liked the way he looked in _my _clothing. I grabbed his hand and gave him a smile. We walked to the stairs together, hand in hand. Until we got to the top of the stairs, then we had to let go of each other's palms, we didn't want anyone to suspect anything. I grabbed him just before he took his first step down and kissed him. After last night I didn't want to let him go. Not ever.

"Good morning Mother, Good morning Father." I sat down at my place at the breakfast table, Ernst sitting next to me.

"Good morning boys," my mother said. My father grunted his greeting; he never was the sociable one in the family, especially when we had company over, it really bothered my mother. "How did studying go?" My mother questioned as Celeste put food in front of her and Amalie. Celeste didn't seem any different than she had been every morning; maybe Ernst really was imagining the gasp. Still, you couldn't be sure.

"Studying went very well. I think we will both be able to pass now." I dropped my hand to my side and grabbed Ernst's hand; silently giving it a reassuring squeeze. Ok, so we didn't study all night, but we did study. And with all the stress that we both relieved the previous night, I had no doubt that we could pass.

Celeste's POV

I set down food in front of Amalie and Frau Rilow and began walking back to sit in the corner to work on another drawing I had in mind. This one was little Amalie's music box. I had seen it when I was helping her put away her clothes. It was very ornate and had a little gold key that wound it up. That was what I drew red.

I glanced over from my drawing at Hanschen, who was holding Ernst's hand under the table. I don't think he noticed me looking at them. It was weird, I honestly never thought of two guys being together like that. I just didn't trust Hanschen at the time. In my mind he was only in it because Ernst was so easy to control, and that's what he really craved. There was no way, no way in hell, that this sadistic devil child could possibly feel love. Behind that smirk he was just a brick wall; no feelings and no emotion. It bothered me to see someone so innocent manipulated into fake emotion. I secretly hoped that Hanschen wouldn't pass his midterms.

As the weeks progressed things began to change. Ernst came over for more "study dates", and the weather became colder and colder as Christmas approached. Until one day Hanschen burst through the door at an incredible pace. He rushed passed the wash room where I was doing laundry at a speed I didn't know he could go; I almost dropped the basket of his laundry. His mother was helping my mama polish some silver pieces in the dining room when Hanschen rushed in. I walked over to the door, curious to see what he was so eager about.

He stood tall next to his mother and handed her a piece of paper with a smile on his face. She gave him an odd look and accepted the folded piece of paper. She opened it slowly and with care, reading over it her expression became more and more excited. She let out a small scream and enveloped Hanschen in a big hug.

"Mother- I- Can't BREATH!" she stepped back allowing Hanschen to take in a large breath. Herr Rilow rushed into the room with a worried look on his face.

"What is it? What's wrong? Are you two ok?" His eyes flashed from Frau Rilow to Hanschen and back to Frau Rilow.

"Everything is fine dear; in fact it's better than fine. Hanschen here got A's on all of his middle terms!" She eagerly handed the piece of folded paper to her husband who glanced over it with excruciating detail, to make sure it was really true. He then looked at his son and gave him the first honest smile I had seen in months.

"Congratulations my boy," He extended his hand for a hand shake; sons and fathers just didn't hug here. It was considered improper; you treated your son like a colleague, an ally in the siege of war. Hanschen firmly shook his hand and gave him a contented smile. Herr Rilow turned on his heal and headed back to his office. Hanschen started out of the room passed me as well.

"Did he pass?" I asked him clutching the laundry basket in my hand. He looked at me confused.

"Did who pass?"

"Ernst Robel." Hanschen nodded. His face was blank, but in his eyes I saw a smile. He rushed up stairs. He would be home a lot now that his midterms were over and his Christmas break began.

Hanschen's POV

I fell back on my bed with the largest smile on my face. I had passed my middle terms with flying colors, as had Ernst. It was just all to perfect for me! For the first time in my life, things were working out. I was not compared to any one, I was not struggling in school, and for the first time I had someone who truly loved me. It was… too good.

I was planning on meeting Ernst that afternoon. He had some chores to run around town. Dropping off produce at some vendors, buying some things for his mother; the usual chores. I was set to meet him at the book vendor, but when I arrived there Ernst was nowhere to be found, until I heard someone talking in the alley next to me in a hushed voice. Then more voices, followed by laughter. After that, I heard a voice I knew all too well pleading; Ernst. I turned the corner to the ally way to see Ernst pressed up against the wall by his shirt collar by a tall boy with red-ish hair, who seemed to be threatening him.

"So little, Ernst was it?" Ernst looked extremely frightened, but nodded none the less, "Well little Ernst, now what are you doing here all by yourself?"

"Maybe he's waiting for his boyfriend, Rupert!" said another short boy with closely cropped black hair, obviously the first one's friend.

"Too true, Ulbrecht, maybe we should teach him a lesson about what happens when boys like this overstep their boundaries." A tall boy with frizzy blond hair stated pounding his fist into his hand.

"No, there_ is_ no we here Dieter," Said the red-head whom I guessed was named Rupert, "if anyone is going to teach this faggot where to watch his step its going be me." He pushed Ernst further into the wall and had a threatening grin on his face. My hands that had been at my thighs gripped tighter and tighter into fists. I couldn't stand it any longer.

"I-I didn't mean to run into you! I'm sorry. Just p-please let me go." Ernst whimpered eliciting a chuckle from the group of boys harassing him.

"No, I don't think we will." Said Rupert with a laugh, I couldn't watch this anymore. I stepped into the alley way casting a shadow.

"Let. Him. Go." I said my fists clenched at my sides. All boys turned to look at me and Rupert dropped Ernst to the ground. He almost crawled away before Rupert grabbed him by the back of his shirt collar. He let out a menacing laugh.

"So Ernst, is this your little boyfriend?" Rupert said close to Ernst's ear with a grin. Ernst didn't answer, he just looked scared beyond all belief, "Ok, you can have him." Rupert tossed Ernst toward me. I extended a hand to help him up off the ground.

"Go home, Ernst." I said calmly, Ernst began to walk away and I followed in suit until Rupert spoke up again.

"Of course," he began, "I never said you could have him for free." Not two seconds had I turned around then I felt Rupert's fist collide with my jaw. Then I felt another fist collide with my back; a kick to my side and I was suddenly pushed up against the wall. I glanced down at Rupert's jacket and at all the boys jackets. The small crest on the front said _Saint Michael's School of Reformation._ Well all angels be damned, it was the reformatory school that Melchior had been sent to. I was snapped out of my trance when another punch was thrown at my stomach and a cool blade was pressed against my skin, "Careful, razor burn." He said and pushed me further into the wall, the uneven brick dug into my back painfully. Rupert laughed. He thought he'd won, "What? You're not going to fight for the little whelp that we let go? Well we're just going to have to find him again!" the other boys around us laughed along with him. I couldn't let them hurt Ernst. I suddenly found my strength.

I sent a hurdling kick into Rupert's groin and he dropped me immediately. The other boys came after me with all they had. It was a blur. Angry punches being thrown in every which way. My fists collided with a few people, but not many. Rupert came after me with his razor, I wretched it from his hand and tosses it across the alley. No sooner had I let go of the razor then a punch landed me in the eye. I fell to my knees and more punches followed. Punches, kicks, everything came crashing down on me painfully. Finally, and with mercy, Rupert spoke up.

"I think he's had enough boys. Let's get out of here before someone sees." The one called Dieter gave me one firm kick in the side and then they took off down the alley way.

I tried to sit up; my head was pounding with pain in my skull. Then far away I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and a voice.

"Ernst!" It was Celeste talking, "Ernst, he's hurt, help me get him back home." I felt another pair of hands help me up and put my arm around their shoulder. I suspected it was Ernst considering Celeste was much shorter than me. I "woke up" in the servants' quarters, though I wasn't sure exactly how I got there.

Celeste POV

Ernst came running up the hill worried and scared. He rushed over to me out of breath, grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards town.

"Ernst, ERNST! Calm down what's wrong?" I pulled my hand out of his grip and he turned to face me with a frightened look in his eyes.

"It's Hanschen," I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, "Some boys from the reformatory school up north are here for their Christmas break. I accidentally ran into their leader and spilled some milk I was carrying on him. Then they pushed me up against the wall and started threatening me," I had no idea where he was going with this, "Hanschen stepped in to help me. But-but they started punching him! Celeste please, you have to help." I stood there wide eyed. Sure Hanschen was a complete ass, and one that was apparently owned by Ernst, but he had given my mother and me a steady life. So I felt some obligation to help the poor boy. Ernst finished talking; I grabbed his hand and started running toward town.

I saw a group of boys in black jackets run out from an alley way with grins on their faces. I sped up a little bit towards the alley they had just come from. There was Hanschen, on the ground struggling to get up. I rushed over to him worried and called back to Ernst, "Ernst! Ernst he's hurt, help me get him back home." He came over and put Hanschen's arm around his shoulder and helped me get him back to the servants' quarters.

Hanschen woke up lying on my bed, he groaned in pain. Ernst, who was sitting in the corner on a chair waiting for him to wake up, stood and looked so worried for the boy who saved him. Hanschen opened his eyes. Well one of them at least, the other one had turned black and swollen. He looked at me, eyes burning.

"Where am I?" He asked me.

"Where do you think you are?" I replied.

"If I knew I wouldn't have asked." Venom rang through his voice, it was subtle but it was there.

"You're in the servant's quarters." He turned his head as much as he could and lay back down on my pillow. I took a bottle of alcohol that I had gotten from his father's cabinet of supplies and poured some on a piece of cloth, cleaning the scrapes he had up and down his arm and the small cut he had on his neck. The alcohol hit his wound and he hissed in pain. He looked terrible. His eye was black and swollen shut, he had a lot of scratches, his lip was split; those boys had really done him in. It was a little awkward for me, sitting in a room with the two boys I had seen together just a few weeks ago. It didn't feel good keeping a secret for them. Since I had seen them I hadn't told a single soul. I took a deep breath and spoke up, ready for any reaction I got, "I know you two are together." I stated bluntly, resting the alcohol and cloth in my lap. I only heard silence, though the tension in the room increased dramatically.

"What?" Hanschen asked, his voice calm but his body language tense.

"I saw you two, um- kissing," This couldn't possibly get more awkward, "a few weeks ago when Ernst came over to study." All that followed for quite some time was a very awkward and heavy silence.

"I knew I hadn't imagined it." Ernst muttered quietly to himself.

"I beg your pardon?" I looked over my shoulder at the raven haired boy.

"Ernst apparently heard you when you saw us," Hanschen clarified, "I didn't want him to worry, so I told him he imagined it." Hanschen's eyes were closed and Ernst's were turned to the floor. Then Hanschen took a deep breath and spoke again, "Ernst I need to talk with Celeste for a bit, can you please go outside." Ernst nodded and looked at his broken love with solemn eyes. Hanschen grabbed his hand as Ernst began to walk passed him, "I'm going to be ok, you don't have to worry." Ernst gave him the best smile he could muster. Hanschen let go and allowed Ernst to walk out of the room. The door shut and Hanschen turned to me, eyes full of fire, "Celeste, if you tell anyone so help me I will-"

"I'm not going to tell anyone, Hanschen." I reassured him, "Why would I? You have given me and my mother the only steady life we have known since my father died. Ernst has been a friend to me from the moment I met him. And you honestly think that I would ruin the only stable life and the only friendship I've ever had by letting your little secret slip?" I laughed, "That would just be idiotic."

Hanschen thought about it for a while then smile. Just as quickly as it had came, the smile disappeared, "You don't understand what would happen if anybody were to find out about me and Ernst." I looked at him a question written on my face. He spoke again, "three years ago, two of the town boys were discovered to be like me and Ernst. They were expelled from their houses, damned by the church and hung in the town square." I gasped, "That's why we can't tell anyone."

"But if they loved each other, why would they're parents expel them from their houses?" In my mind, love was a bond that was meant to be understood and accepted despite lines of differences. And carrying out such a medieval task as a hanging for love seemed morally wrong.

"If love does not entail a man and a woman, then it is not considered love. It's considered a crime against God and must be dealt with as such." He sighed, "If anything like that were to happen to Ernst I wouldn't forgive myself." He looked as though he was telling the truth.

"But, why Ernst? You two are so…."

"Different?" Hanschen offered. I nodded, he chuckled quietly to himself, "we keep each other in balance, I suppose. He's my angel; I'm his devil." And with that he called Ernst back into the room. Hanschen used most of the strength he could muster to sit back up in my bed. He motioned for Ernst to sit beside him; Ernst obeyed. Hanschen wrapped an arm around Ernst's waist and told him calmly, "Celeste is going to tell anyone Ernst; don't worry."

"I'm not worried about that. Are _you_ ok?"

"I told you I was, and I am. It's just a few scrapes and bruises."

"And a black eye that would make the night sky look pale," I added. I earned a laugh from Ernst and a glare from Hanschen.

"Ha, you're funny." He said sarcastically. I began cleaning the cut on his neck again, "Ouch! Do we have to do this now?"

"Do you want to have to explain to your parents why you look like this?"

"Touché." He said and let me resume cleaning his cuts. Ernst seemed to make his pain go away more.

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Wow, that was dramatic was it not??

ok, because they had the same actors as Hanschen, Ernst, Georg, and Otto playing the reformatory boys I had control over what they looked like! oh and I made Rupert a Ginger kid because they're evil. Ha ha.

R&R, more to come later!


	8. Graves, Truth, and Christmas roses

OMG! lol, this chapter is finally done. I've had so much work going on at school. What with tests and rehersals for Oklahoma I've been swampped. but now that the trimester is over I have more time! so yay!

I'm really sorry if Celeste is a little Mary Sue-ish, I'm really trying hard not to make her one! enjoy

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Celeste's POV

I nearly died of laughter watching Hanschen explain to his parents why he was so bruised up. The excuses that Hanschen came up with were remarkably unique and obviously thought up with right on the spot. He told his parents that the scratches were from a dog and the black eye from falling down onto a rock. It took nearly all my will power to not laugh uncontrollably. Just the fact that he was able to pass this story passed his father, the doctor, was an unbelievable feat that was accomplished.

Surprisingly, Hanschen was a quick healer. After a week all that remained were a few scabs and the faint bluish tint around his eye. His frequent absences during the day did not go unnoticed, well at least not by me. But I guessed where he might be.

The next week passed and Christmas rolled around with ease. When I had the chance to talk with Ernst I could see his excitement for the holiday grow continuously. He reminded me somewhat of my father; always eager for church and putting all his faith in a piece of writing. But I guess it gave him something to attach to, something to relate his life to.

The day before Christmas was highly uneventful. Almost everyone was either asleep or preparing for the long night ahead. However, my mama and I had other plans.

We walked down to the cemetery with the last bushel of white Christmas roses from the florist. When my father was alive he felt bad for the departed souls who had been forgotten on Christmas. He always took me down to the cemetery the day before Christmas to help place flowers on all the empty graves. And I mean all of them. Though families frequently visited the graves each grave had a one of the white Christmas roses on their grave. I thought it would be particularly special to repeat this tradition this year due to the large amount of graves who held souls that had died no older than 15. Mama could only stay with my for a while to deck the graves with roses before the cold got to her and she had to return to the Rilow's house. I didn't let the cold get to me and continued to place white roses on every last gave.

I came around the corner of the church to where I had seen the two graves of Wendla Bergman and Moritz Stifle. Kneeling there in front of the two graves was a boy I had not seen in the town since I started working for the Rilow's. I only saw him from the back at the time. He was wearing a black jacket identical to the ones I had seen on the reformatory boys; his brown, curly hair was slightly unkempt. He knelt before the graves as if they were some strange altar. I heard a sigh come from him as he stood and kept looking at the head stones. I decided to break my silence.

"Did you know them?" I asked; the two final Christmas roses clutched in my hand. He turned around with a jerk, obviously startled. I looked at him with intent; he had one of the most handsome faces I had seen. He had light green eyes that seemed to look straight through me. His face was not as rigid as Hanschen's or as soft and baby like as Ernst's it was just…. His. After regaining his normal heart rate he looked at me just as intently as I had earlier. He didn't answer my question though he simply stepped to the side as I approached the graves and placed a white rose on each. I didn't mind my knees getting a little wet as I stared at the graves. I felt his presence behind me still. I turned around and faced him with purpose.

"You didn't answer my question," I stated with curiosity, "did you know them?"

"Uh, yea," he said quietly, rubbing the back of his neck with a sad look on his face, "um, did you know them?" I shook my head.

"I just moved here a few months ago," I said standing up brushing the snow off my frozen knees. He looked at me curiously.

"You're not from Germany, are you?" I shook my head, "French?" he asked and I nodded with a smile. He gave me a smile as well, but once he gazed back at the graves his smile fell.

"Who were they?" I asked, not wanting to press too far.

He sighed but continued to speak, "Moritz was my best friend and Wendla-" he paused and took a breath, "She was amazing." And he left it at that. It was obviously difficult for him.

"And what is your name?"

"Melchior," he said, I liked that name, "and yours?"

"Celeste," he smiled that lovely smile again.

"Celeste, from the Latin root celes meaning heaven no doubt" He was indeed very smart. I didn't even know that, but it made sense. I hadn't seen him before, not at church or in the regular town walking.

"So, do you live here?"

"Yes, well, I mean I used to."

"You used to?"

"I was sent to the reformatory this fall. But I used to live here."

"I was going to say," I began, "I don't think I've seen you around town or in church." He chuckled to himself. Not that dark, semi-sadistic chuckle that Hanschen had, but a lighter one that brought a smile to my face.

"You wouldn't see me in church even if I did still live here. I don't believe in that stuff," I didn't think it was possible for someone in this town to not go to church. We finally had common ground.

"Really? Why don't you believe in it?" I asked clutching my thin jacket around my body.

"I just," He approached me and put his jacket around my shoulders noticing my shivering, "don't believe in it. It seems pointless, you know." We began walking down the road, just talking, walking away from the bad memories of the graveyard. The cold didn't bother him.

"I mean if you look at it from an analytical point of view, you spend your whole life crammed into a church, praying to someone you don't even know exists. And the Father, he continuously preaches that every flaw and every mishap in our lives is deeply rooted in our sinful nature. But if you really think about it, what is sin?" He looked at me questioningly expecting me to answer the question, which I did.

"Well, I think, sin is simply an idea that gives the church an excuse."

"An excuse?"

"Yes, when someone does something wrong it is not because they believe its right, but because the majority believes it to be sinful. They all think it is their duty to 'save' all the souls that have been lost to this idea of sin. When they do not succeed, it is not their fault; it is the persons fault for committing sin. It really puts restraints on the human mind and its freedom to create and live." He looked at me apprehensively and smiled.

"Exactly. I can't believe we haven't talked since we've been here." I smiled a bit, but it was quickly washed away.

"Well, I don't really get a chance to talk to anyone. What with my job and all."

"Your job? You're a little young to be working aren't you?" I shook my head.

"My mama and I work for one of the families here. It's our first real job that we've had since my papa died." I looked down at the ground. It was my turn to feel grief. We were silent for a while; still moving, but silent.

"Was your papa a good man?" he asked. I nodded and smiled.

"I'm not sure if you would like him all that much though. He was very attached to his bible and church. He was a teacher too," Melchior tensed. From what I had heard from Hanschen and Ernst, teachers around here weren't exactly what you would call the kind gentle type, "He was wonderfully kind. Not a person in town didn't like him," Melchior breathed in relief, and I smiled in memory of my father.

"When did he pass?"

"Three years ago" I said solemnly.

"I'm sorry. So where are you working?" he said, quickly changing the subject.

"In the Rilow home," he stared at the ground in front of him, brief hatred flashing in his eyes before he looked up, "Do you know Hanschen?"

"Yea, I know him. I'm not too fond of him myself." I laughed a bit.

"I don't think anyone is 'too fond' of him." _Except maybe Ernst._ He laughed and gave me the first real smile I had seen on him. I liked it. Melchior seemed like a kind boy, someone who innately enabled my trust, which was not an easy thing to accomplish.

We came to the bottom of the hill and stopped, "I have to go now," he nodded, "It was nice to meet you Melchior." I extended my hand for a hand shake, he obliged. I went to give him back the jacket he so graciously offered me. He refused.

"Keep it; I have others like it back home." I put it back on, enjoying the warmth and comforting sent it had, "And it was good to meet you, too, Celeste," he began to walk away before I stopped him.

"How long are you in town?" I asked quickly.

"I leave mid January for school again, but I'll be back after that around Easter." I laughed, he'd return on the king of Christian holidays.

"So I'll see you again?"

"Yes, you'll see me again." And with that and a smile he left and I headed home.

Hanschen's POV

I couldn't believe what I was watching with my own two eyes. Standing at the bottom of the hill was Celeste talking with the one boy I could hardly tolerate; Melchior Gabor. I didn't hate him, per say, I just thoroughly disliked him. With him in our class I always came in second. With him in our class no one, boy or girl, looked my way. Even Ernst revealed to me a few months after our first kiss that he had liked Melchior prior to me. When we were children, Gabor and I were always opposing captains during our pirate games. His "crew" generally consisted of Ilse, Moritz, Wendla, and Thea. My crew was Georg, Otto, Ernst, and Ana. I never really liked having Ana on our side, but Georg was very fond of her when we were young, so I allowed it. Melchior believed in 'equality of gender' so he normally allowed three out of the five girls onto his team. Marta never really played pirate; she never liked it and always sat nearby watching and judging fairness. It seemed pointless to me, but I always strived to beat Melchior. Now that he was gone I had gotten what I wanted; all eyes on me and someone to love.

A low growl emitted from the back of my throat as I rushed downstairs and pulled Celeste inside as she passed the front door.

"What was that?" I asked; my arms crossed in front of my chest, she was wearing his jacket.

"What was what?" she retorted. In the past few months she had been working for me she had learned with all too great pleasure how to verbally spar with myself.

"You and Gabor." I said impatiently.

"He was simply walking me home from the grave yard," She said and when to walk back out the door. I grabbed her shoulder.

"Why were you at the cemetery?" she sighed

"I was putting roses on graves," I gave her a weird look, "Family tradition. I ran into Melchior who was looking at two other graves."

"Let me guess who, Moritz Stifle and Wendla Bergman." She looked up in shock.

"How did you know?"

"Lucky guess." I laughed quietly to myself, "I'm still amazed he visits Miss Bergman's grave."

"Why is that?" she looked at me; her eyes filled with questions. I felt I had an obligation to answer them.

"Well he can technically be blamed for her death. Both the deaths actually," I was sure that Celeste could handle what she was about to hear, "Moritz Stifle was… a god awful student in every way imaginable. He fell asleep during class and struggled endlessly. A month or two before his death I overheard him talking to Melchior about some weird dreams he was having. Melchior, being the good friend that he is wrote an essay that led to Moritz own demise. And Wendla, well let's just say that there were two bodies in one grave."

"Two bodies in one grave? But how is that possible?"

"She was pregnant, her mother attempted to get rid of the child but it ended in her death." I gave her a sly smirk, "If you're intelligent you'd stay away from Gabor."

"But," She began, "If Mrs. Bergman tried to get rid of Wendla's child than it's her fault, not Melchior's." damn her and her logic. I did not answer her, I simply walked away. I was tired and mass was approaching quickly. I also had to wrap the gift I had for Ernst.

Celeste's POV

Midnight mass came and every one crowded into the small church eager to begin the sermon. Well at least the parents were excited; some kids just sulked in a corner others talked to their friends and exchanged pre-Christmas gifts. As I expected, Melchior was nowhere to be seen in the crowd. I was a little confused about how Melchior was to blame for two, if not three, deaths. The kind boy that I had met earlier today didn't seem like that type. I was certain how children came into the world considering my Mama worked as a midwife for a while. So I was well aware of how Wendla became with child.

I was about to talk to Hanschen before the Father took his place at the head of the church and called attention to himself. I would not let this lack of knowledge on my part slide.

Hanschen's POV

Thankfully, mass ended right on schedule. Amalie didn't make it through, as always, Father carried her out of the church back towards our house. I followed the rest of the household, including Celeste and her mother, out of the church but lagged behind to see Ernst. My mother and father would understand considering I hadn't seen him all night.

He was walking out of the church slowly behind his parents. I grabbed his hand and pulled him around the side of the church.

"Hanschen!" he exclaimed happily embracing me, "Merry Christmas." He said handing me a small wrapped package.

"And merry Christmas to you, too dear Ernst." I handed him his gift, waiting for him to open it, "You open your gift first," I stated, it was not a suggestions. He gave me a weird look but then slowly and deliberately opened the gift. He removed the lid from the box. There, lying in the bottom of the small box was a new rosary. The same one I knew he had had his eye on for some time. It was red and brown with a silver cross. I had saved up my money for weeks to buy it for him. He just stared in awe at his gift before enveloping me in another hug.

"Thank you, Hanschen." I kissed him quickly, forgetting that I myself still had his gift in my hand, "Aren't you going to open your present?" he said looking down at the gift. I removed the brown paper. Lying under the brown shield was a new copy of _The Odyssey_, my favorite book. It was in perfect condition. And I still have it today, though its condition is a little passed well used. I pulled him more into the shadow of the church and kissed him forcefully.

"Thank you, Ernst," I said resting my hand on his cheek when something wet hit mine. We both looked up to see small flakes of snow; falling gently from the dark sky above. I looked back at him, his eyes still glued to the tiny pieces of falling lace, "I think this is one of the best Christmases I've had in a long time."

"Its only one in the morning, Hanschen. You still have all day to make it special."

"No," I said pulling him close, "This is as special as it needs to be." He leaned up to kiss me. To this day, that was the best Christmas mass I had.

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So? how did I do? plz give me your honest review! it would be greatly apreciated!!!


	9. 3, 2, 1

I AM NOT DEAD! hahahaha, well here it is (finally) CHAPTER 9!!!!!! I've been having rehersals for weeks now, but right now is Show Week and I've been working on this at school. We open on thursday so i will try to get back in the rhythm of weekly updates. I wrote this chapter while listening to, "You'll Be In my Heart," from Tarzan. Much appologies! please enjoy the following chapter.

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Celeste's POV

Christmas drew to an end with ceremonial and temporary peace in my life. But no sooner had the peace and calm began, it ended and work started with full blast in preparing for the coming New Year. The Rilow's had a large party planed for New Year's Eve. About half of the town was invited to join in the festivities at their estate. Cooking for all those people was a small war in itself.

Anytime someone needed something for the party I was the first one to offer to go into town. Maybe it was to get away from the old Rilow estate, maybe it was the idea that I might see Melchior again, I just enjoyed going into town. It cleared my head and I loved the brisk air. Though I still missed my home in France, I was becoming more accustomed to life in Germany. The cool air seemed lighter than the air in France and although the sun didn't shine here as much, some comforting warmth washed over me here that I had ever felt back home.

I walked out of the Zirchnitz house hold with some milk that was just needed for the house, along with some of the leftovers from the other errands I had run that day: some poinsettias from the florist, freshly baked bread, and some silk table cloth for the dining room. The load was heavy but not thoroughly overwhelming, or at least that's what I kept telling myself till I tripped over a rock and dropped the poinsettias. I blew the hair out of my face and attempted to bend down to pick them up when another hand swiped them from the ground. I looked up into a face I had missed for the past few days, Melchior. He looked at the flowers carefully and brushed them off.

"It seems that every time we meet you have flowers with you," he said with a smile. He looked me over and saw how much I was carrying, "would you like some help?"

"Yes please," I stated eagerly. He grabbed the loaf of bread and his hand lightly grazed my arm. Sparks shot up my spine for this simple touch. We started walking back home.

"I see your still wearing the jacket." He gave me a sly smile. I attempted to hide my blush my nudging my shoulder so that my hair fell across my face. My mind went blank.

"Well it's the warmest thing I have. And no one told me how cold it would be here. I still haven't gotten really used to the weather and-" he laughed silencing my incessant blabbering.

"It's quite alright," he reassured me, "How was your Christmas?"

"It was wonderful. Mama made me a new scarf and Hanschen didn't order me around as much." That was the one thing I had loved about this Christmas.

"Why is that?"

"He was absorbed in some book. I think it was called… the journey?" I guessed the title; I actually had no idea what it was called.

"_The Odyssey_ you mean?"

"Yes, that's the one."

"Have you ever read it?" I shook my head. There was a part of me that didn't want to tell Melchior about my inability to read German, "Well what's your favorite book?" I thought for a while, there had to be some book that I had read, or papa had read. He had a vast library back home, but we had to sell the books when he passed. I remembered Papa's favorite right off the top of my head.

"_Ursule Mirou__ë__t_" I said quickly. I never got the real chance to read when I was little. It was always helping mother out around the house and working hard. And that was a large book compared to body size. He gave me an apprehensive look.

"By Balzac?" was that the writers name? I guessed it was.

"Uh, yes, by Balzac."

"That's a very good piece of literature." I gave a sigh of relief. Truth be told, I had never actually read the book. I saw a glint in his eyes I had not seen before. It was like he was deep in thought or some idea was forming in his head. His thoughts always vexed me, made me really think about the consequence of my actions and what fuelled them.

I opened the door to the house and led Melchior towards the back, but sitting at the table was Hanschen feet up on the table, reading that book of his for probably the fifth time this week. Personally I was surprised that he wasn't out with Ernst or something. His head jerked up at the sound of the closing door and his eyes met Melchior's. I looked at Melchior who was glaring daggers back towards Hanschen. This was one line of fire I didn't particularly want to get in.

"What is he doing here?" Hanschen said calmly returning to his book, though I noticed that his grip had tightened.

"He was just helping me with some errands." I said quickly before Melchior could even speak. Hanschen gave his dark laugh and his grip on the piece of writing slacked a bit.

"Is that all he was doing?" he stated, his voice was dripping with sarcasm and the question was obviously directed at Melchior.

He did not answer, nor did I. Melchior simply put my purchases on the table near Hanschen's feet. He turned to smile at me bore kissing me on my cheek and whispering into my ear, "I'll see you soon." And with that Melchior Gabor walked out of the house. I could feel my cheeks on fire as I stared unmoving at the door.

"He's not going to come bursting through that door again anytime soon," Hanschen said with disgust. I shot him an evil glare; he was just staring at his book.

"Why aren't you with Ernst?" I asked impatiently.

"He has chores to do. Not everyone can be as lucky as me," he said smugly, glancing over his book at me.

"UGH!" I exclaimed marching out of the room. He was just IMPOSSIBLE! How Ernst could possibly love that boy I had no idea in the world.

Hanschen's POV

I stared into the washroom mirror, attempting to fix my tie. It was New Year's Eve. I stuck my head into the hallway to look at the clock, it was only nine. People wouldn't start arriving for at least another half an hour. I let out an exasperated sigh and went back to that confounded piece of cloth called a tie.

"Where is good help when you need it," I muttered to myself. I didn't know why, but for some…. Odd reason I could not tie that damned thing. I had a lot on my mind; Celeste had known about Ernst and me for a week now and still no word of it from anybody else. I kept telling myself that that was good, but something in me still didn't trust her.

After many failed attempts I threw the blasted garment down and stared at the bottom of the wash bowl. I ran a hand through my hair and took a deep breath before I heard a quiet voice from the door way.

"Do you need some help with that?" I looked up in the mirror and saw Ernst standing in the doorway.

"You're here awfully early," I said surprised. He shrugged, but smiled.

"You look like you're having some difficulty," he mentioned toward the tie. I nodded, "here, let me help you." He reached over and grabbed the piece of clothing and began to tie it around my neck. He looked so focused but I could tell that something was bothering him. I grabbed his hands as they began to move away from my tie.

"What's wrong?" I looked into his blue eyes.

"Hanschen, my parents were talking to me today and-" he was cut off by a knocking on the door. Celeste was standing there in the new blue dress my mother had so graciously made for her.

"Uh, am I interrupting something?" she asked concerned.

"No," Ernst said quickly.

"Well, the other guests are arriving now," With that she left us together.

"We should probably head downstairs before anyone notices we're missing," Ernst said in a rushed tone.

"What did you need to tell me?" I said seriously. The noise of the door opening and my parents greeting the new guests echoed in the back.

"I'll have to tell you later," He leaned up and kissed me quickly before anyone could walk by, "Now is not the time." He walked back down stairs and I could hear Georg exclaim his greeting towards little Ernst. I took one last look at myself in the mirror before heading downstairs. Whatever Ernst wanted to tell me could be heard later. After all information is information no matter what time you receive it, right?

Celeste's POV

The house's great room had been completely transformed in a matter of hours. With the help of Mr. Rilow and little effort from Hanschen, along with much manual labor, all furniture had been taken out of the room, placed on the back porch, or set off to the side for tired guests. Richly colored silk drapes had been hung up around the tall windows; the Rilow's grand piano had been moved towards the back of the room where an older woman was playing. All the people chatted in a relaxed manner. I took this moment to watch all the people I had seen in church actually converse in a friendly manner. I heard names and matched them with faces. The metronome boy I had seen with his pudgy friend were once again standing together over in a corner, Georg and Otto their names were. Georg had been staring at the piano woman in an almost lustful way; that frightened me a bit. Otto on the other hand was not staring at anything else but the rapidly disappearing food on his plate. The girl with the frizzy hair, Ana, and the girl with the pig greased braids, Thea, were laughing together about boys and dancing. I noticed that the one quiet awkward girl I had seen in church with her father's arm draped possessively around her shoulders, was nowhere to be found. Neither were her parents. I shrugged it off.

Suddenly I felt one large hand clasp over my eyes and a sweet voice in my ear, "Guess who," He said calmly. I smiled.

"God? Is that you?" I joked.

"God? I am insulted Celeste, you should know better." Melchior took his hand off of my eyes and turned me around. I saw Thea and Ana looking dumbfounded at me, though I couldn't guess why. He had one hand behind his back. I gave him a curious look.

"What are you hiding Monsieur Gabor?" I teased him. He wasn't my equal, but he wasn't so high up that he needed to be called 'Herr Gabor'.

"A present," He pulled out a package done up with brown paper and a sliver ribbon and then presented it to me with a bow, "For you."

I took the package cautiously and slowly undid the silver ribbon and brown paper. There in my hands was a copy of _Ursule Mirou__ë__t_. I looked back up at him and gave him a reassuring smile. I would finally be able to read Papa's favorite book now that I had time. Or at least that's what I thought until I opened it and didn't understand.

"It's in German," I said slowly. He looked at me worried, not a hurt worried when you get someone the wrong gift, but the worried like when you know someone has bad news.

"Is there a problem?" he asked me.

"I-" I hesitated, "I can't read German." He looked at the book and then at me. I saw that idea sparkle in his eyes again.

"I'll teach you." He said. I looked at him quickly.

"But you're leaving in a few weeks."

"I'll teach you until I leave. Then I can teach you some more when I come back. I promise you'll be able to read that by the time summer rolls in." He said reassuringly.

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to." He reached his hand to stroke the back of my neck and my hair.

"Ahem?" Hanschen was standing behind Melchior, "This is the second time you're in my house uninvited." He said venomously.

"I'm not uninvited," Melchior stated smugly, "Your mother heard that I was in town and decided to invite me. Do you have a problem with that?" Hanschen walked away, probably to find Ernst no doubt. Suddenly the pianist began to play a waltz and people began to dance together. Melchior looked at me, "Care to dance? Or do you not know how?" he teased.

"I'm not incompetent Gabor," I said like Hanschen.

"You're right; it would be creepy if you acted like that." I smiled and took his arm. He spun me around the dance floor with ease that seemed to elude other such boys. As the dance slowed down a bit I heard some whispers coming from some of the girls. 'you're right; she does look a bit like Wendla,' or 'poor boy still hasn't gotten over it seems,' or 'her mother must be insane to let that boy go near her,' all these whispers all these…. Rumors! They bothered me. I broke away from Melchior suddenly and began to walk away; he followed me outside.

"Did I do something wrong?" he looked concerned and more hurt than when I told him I couldn't read the book. I turned around quickly.

"Melchior, why do you like me?" I said seriously. He thought about it.

"You're smart, your funny, you're a hard worker, you're beautiful-" I cut him off

"Do you like me because I look like Wendla?" he looked shocked and sat down on one of the chairs we had brought outside.

"You do look like her."

"Then you're still not over her are you?" I said angrily, how could I have been so foolish?

"Celeste, Celeste look at me," he said gripping my shoulders, "I blame myself for her death. I don't know if- if I'll be able to forget her." Tears were coming to my eyes, "But, when I'm around you I want to try to forget. When I'm around you I feel as though life has given me a second chance." He brushed some of my hair out of my face and wiped a tear away from my cheek. I looked at him with dead seriousness in my eyes.

"I'm _not_ Wendla. I don't think I ever will be."

"I know you're not," he said soothingly, "But I want to try and make this work," I looked into his eyes, he gave me a smile, "I really want to try."

Hanschen's POV

I brushed my way through the crowd looking for that small mop of black hair that belonged to Ernst. I eventually found him where I expected, sitting in a corner. He didn't like to draw attention to himself. I sat down next to him on the couch.

"Are you ok?" He snapped out of his trance like state.

"Huh? What?"

"Are you ok?" I repeated. He was distracted by something, I just didn't know what. Once again, he didn't get a chance to answer me. Thea and her mother had come over to where we were sitting.

"Oh, Hanschen," Thea's mother said, "This is a wonderful party your mother has thrown, could you please pass my compliments off to her?" I nodded quietly. I never liked that woman; she was loud and obnoxious, just like Thea. Her braids may be tight and in place, but other than that there was nothing "in place" about her. Thea trailed behind her mother and smiled at Ernst, he gave a very weak smile back, "Ernst," Thea's mother said curtly, "Why don't you dance with Thea?" he nodded and took Thea's hand leading her to the dance floor. I was confused, Ernst didn't like Thea and I knew Thea liked Melchior. I sighed, I had no idea what was going on, but I was damn sure going to find out.

Ernst had me worried. I mean, he always worried me, I wanted to protect him. But tonight more than other nights there was something in the air that made me nervous, something that worried me all too much. The dance ended and Ernst pulled away from Thea so quickly the poor girl nearly fell over. I attempted not to laugh, I failed. She shot me a glare before walking away to join Anna who was sitting next to Georg on the couch on the opposite side of the room.

I melted away into the crowd, only reaching out to grab Ernst. He nearly screamed, but after realizing it was me he calmed down a bit. I smiled at him and gestured to the back door of the house. He nodded and followed me out.

"Now, what is the problem little Ernst?" I asked sitting on the fence that bordered the back yard of the house. He looked at me in a scared manner. Something had to be wrong, I assumed the worst, "Did somebody find out?" I asked frantically.

"N-no Hanschen, it's not that. I wouldn't be here if it was that," I gave a relived breath of air left my lungs.

"Then what's wrong? You've been distracted all night. I've barely seen you." I took his hands in mine. At this he threw his hands around my shoulders and hugged me.

"I'm scared Hanschen," I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"There's nothing to be afraid of Ernst. Nobody suspects anything, we're safe and-" he shook his head.

"It's not that. My parents-" he hesitated, "My parents were talking to me last night and-" he didn't look like he wanted to continue speaking.

"and?" I asked urging him on. I had waited all night to hear whatever news this boy brought, and there was no way he was going to stop speaking now.

"Thea." That one word, that one name.

"What about her?"

"My parents have me engaged to marry Thea." My spirits fell to the pit of my stomach. Marry Thea? I now realized why he was scared. I then noticed that he was nearly crying into my jacket. I wrapped my arms tighter around him, it felt as though if I let him go he would fly away and not come back. I looked up to the house where music and laughter and light floated down from open windows.

"Shhh, shhh, everything is going to be okay Ernst." He looked up his cheeks stained with tears. I hugged him to me and swayed with him to gently to the music, humming softly. His tears subsided a bit as he fell into the rhythm of the slow ballad, "I won't let them get to you, I promise." I glared back up towards the house, up towards everything that was trying to get at him. Suddenly I heard everyone counting down seconds, 10, 9. The New Year was coming, and I didn't want them to take Ernst away from me, 6, 5. I didn't want to lose him, 3, 2.

"I love you Hanschen." He said as he nuzzled close to me, 1.

I looked down at Ernst and said the words he thought would never leave my mouth, "I love you too, Ernst."

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"BECAUSE YOU"LL BE IN MY HEAAAAARRRT!!!!!!!!"

OH MY GOOD GOLLY GODNESS! HANSCHEN SAID I LOVE YOU!!!! hehehe, you knew he had to. Please review!!! that would make me a happy panda!


	10. Redemption

OH FOR THE LOVE OF ERNST! Once again, I appologize for the long wait. I go to private school and finals are hell. Anywho I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm thinking about doing a song fic for this pairing to the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls... any way, ENJOY!

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Hanschen's POV

I opened my eyes to bright sunlight and a freezing cold room. I tried to sit up, but my head throbbed like a thousand war drums. The previous night I had tried to fight the news of the engagement off with sleep, when that failed I turned to my father's secret stash of liquor. I drank myself to sleep that night. Today was my last day of winter break. The next day I would have to face hell again. And Ernst, poor Ernst, by then people at school would have heard about his engagement to Thea. News in this town spread like hungry wildfire in an open field, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. While it would have provided Ernst and me with a thick cover, both of us were worried. How soon would the wedding be? Would they wait till Thea was done with school? When Ernst was done with school? Or would they just jump into it as soon as the priest said that Ernst had enough training to become a pastor? The way that boy read his bible was incredible. He nearly memorized the first half by this time.

Once the ache had subsided a bit, there was a knock on my door. I groaned, the pain returning to my skull. With that Celeste opened the door and looked at me lying in my bed.

"You don't look to good." She said, not yet entering my bedroom.

"I don't feel so good," I responded groggily. She entered the room and put her hand on my forehead, so just in case I wasn't cold enough she could freeze my skull with her ice cube hands. She pulled back quickly and held her nose.

"Well you don't have a fever. Booze breath on the other hand, that you most certainly have," She coughed, her face scrunched up in a repulsed manner. Celeste then spied an empty bottle of whiskey on the ground. She picked it up gingerly, "what the hell is this?" She asked holding the ornate bottle in my general direction, the brown label reflecting sunlight.

"An empty bottle," I offered sarcastically, she gave me the don't-even-start-with-me look, "an empty bottle of whiskey." I said, putting my head back onto the pillow, she slammed the bottle on the nightstand, "Do you have to be so loud?!?" I said, putting the pillow over my head to try and muffle her noise.

"You're hung over."

"Really? I had no idea!" I said unsurprised.

"Why?" Ugh, why did she have to ask that question? I didn't want to have to explain my situation to her. Not her. Not now. There was nothing she could do about it, so why bother telling her? I didn't answer. She repeated her question; again I didn't answer, "Does it have to do with Ernst?" she said sympathetically. Celeste really had to stop hanging around Melchior; she was becoming too damn smart for a servant girl.

"Partially," I said quietly.

"Oh my god! Did someone find out? Hanschen, did they hurt him? I knew you-" I sat up quickly despite the painful throbbing my head.

"Now you listen to me," I said in a low voice, threatening her to utter another word, "I will never, _ever_ put Ernst in that kind of danger. So don't you _ever_ assume that that is the situation unless I tell you it is, got it?" she nodded fear from her first day of work flashing momentarily in her eyes, replaced by new fear. I laid back down, "It's something else," I said. I had no desire to explain what was going on, but Celeste had other plans.

"Tell me, maybe I can help." I sat back up resting one hand on my knee; I looked her straight in the eye.

"There is _nothing_ you can do to keep Ernst marrying Thea." I said, trying to hide the few tears that found their way to my eyes. I couldn't let Celeste see me cry, I would lose all power I had over her in a matter of seconds. She looked at me surprised, "His parents had them engaged," I said looking down at my bed sheet, biting back tears. We were silent for a moment.

"You found out last night didn't you?" I nodded, not looking at her. She took my chin in her hand and forced my head up to look at her. She smiled, "It's going to be ok." And you know what? I believed her. I knew I couldn't let Ernst marry that… that… girl. I loved him, if I had to be killed in the process, I would never give up. I grabbed Celeste's hand and removed it from my chin. I gave her a smile to assure her that I was ok. She stood and began to walk out of the room before turning around, "I won't tell anyone that you were crying." She said jokingly, though I knew she wasn't going to tell.

"I was not crying!" I said defensively throwing an extra pillow at her. She dodged it and laughed.

"You need to rest, you have school tomorrow." I groaned at the mention of the hell hole my parents sent me to.

"Please don't remind me." I looked down at my wrist, there was a scar on it from the time the reformatory boys beat me up. It was a reminder, I still had a long fight until Ernst was safe. I just wasn't sure how to do it.

Celeste's POV

The news of Ernst's engagement threw me off completely. It came to my attention that love had zero place in this town. If you loved someone but it was considered wrong, you couldn't be with them. And if you didn't find someone to be with your parents would find someone for you, at a very young age. I knew that Herr and Frau Rilow were happy together, or at least they seemed that way. I couldn't tell if they had found each other by chance or by force.

I gave an aggravated sigh, my thoughts getting in the way of work. I took my aggression towards the town out on the dirty entry way floor. A knock on the door aroused me from my cynical thinking. I had barely opened the door before a shorter chubby woman barged her way in. She had a large smile on her face, her hair was greased back like Thea's into a tight bun that made her face look exceptionally round. She looked around quickly before her eyes fell on me.

"You, um-" she didn't know my name either.

"Celeste," I said quietly, wanting to slap my hand to my forehead.

"yes, Celeste, do you happen to know where Frau Rilow is at the moment?"

"She's in the library," I started, "Follow me Frau- uh-" it came into my head that I didn't know her name either.

"Robel," She said with a bright smile, "My son is one of Hanschen's friends." I tried not to look so stunned. This was Ernst's mother? I would have never guessed the relation.

"Very well, Frau…. Robel," I started slowly, "I'll show you to the library." We walked down the long hallway to the small library the Rilow's had managed to compile. Frau Rilow was sitting in a large armchair, reading some small blue book with the picture of a woman in a blue gown on the front. I cleared my throat to get her attention, "Frau Robel here to see you Frau." Her head jerked up immediately and she smiled that wonderful smile. She rose from her seat to hug her longtime friend.

"Gisela!" She exclaimed as she hugged her friend, "How are you?"

"Absolutely wonderful, I have such grand news for you," I exited the room but stayed close to the door in order to hear the conversation. I peeked through the crack in the door and saw Frau Robel sit down in a large armchair, "What on earth are you reading now, Adelaide?" Frau Rilow looked down at her book.

"Pride and Prejudice."

"That English garbage, again? Really Adelaide, you need to find something better to read." Frau Rilow looked up at her friend and smiled slyly.

"Didn't you have something important to tell me?"

"Oh yes! Adelaide, it's so wonderful. Falk and I were speaking with the Frau and Herr Diebvonliebe, you know the parents of that Thea girl?" Frau Rilow nodded her head indicating that she understood, "and the engagement has been sealed!" She said excitedly. Frau Rilow smiled at her excited friend.

"Oh, Gisela that's wonderful!" Frau Rilow had a talent for keeping a calm elegant air about her. Frau Robel turned back to her friend with seriousness written on her face.

"You know, you should probably start hunting for a wife for your Hanschen." I couldn't help but laugh a little on the inside, "What about that girl who answered the door for me?" Answered? I cracked the door open and she barged into the room with such force I thought she was a battering ram! The words suddenly sunk in. I made a disgusted face. This was Hanschen we were talking about; he wasn't exactly what you would call prince charming. Well at least I wouldn't call him that, Ernst might though.

"Celeste is simply one of our servants," Frau Rilow said quickly, thank god for that.

"Well you must find someone for him soon, before all of the girls are taken up." Frau Rilow smiled then looked down at her book.

"Hanschen is still a child in many aspects," Oh how true that was, "I'm not ready to let him go that quickly." Frau Robel humphed at that statement, "Just know that when your son is standing there at the altar, my boy will be right there beside him." I had heard enough. I rose from my crouched position behind the door.

I now knew what it must be like for Hanschen and Ernst. The conversation I had just heard wanted to make me not only throw up, but in dire need to talk to somebody! This secret was a burden for us all. But to tell it would result in horrible consequences for both of them. I couldn't do that to them. They were the only friends I had here. They were the only friends I ever had in my life. And I couldn't let them go. Not like that

Hanschen POV

The cold air whipped across my face, calming the remainder of the headache from yesterday. I held my cap down against the wind. The wind, the ever changing wind. I turned my head to the sky, not letting go of my cap, "you're changing your mind a lot lately," I said to no one in particular, the wind howled in response, "yea, I don't know what to do either." I sighed as the school house came into view. Facing a day at school after what had happened two days before seemed just as appealing as eating my own foot. Suddenly I felt a warm body beside me. I knew who it was immediately.

"I don't want to go in either," Ernst said quietly. I looked at him. The cover would be nice for a while, but I still didn't know how long the engagement was going to last.

"We're going to have to face it sooner or later." I said, trying to sound as brave as possible so as to ease Ernst's worried expression.

"Can't we face it later?" he asked looking at me like a scared child. I grabbed his hand and pulled him off the trail into the bushes again. I kissed him gingerly and brushed his bangs out of his eyes before looking at him.

"Everything is going to be okay. I won't let them get to you," and I meant every word of what I said, "I love you." I kissed him quickly before we both returned to the path.

The school house was cold from no one being in it for the past month. Kids greeted each other as if they had been separated for years, even though they had just seen each other practically two days ago. As soon as some of the boys saw Ernst they rushed toward him, patting him on the back, congratulating him on the engagement. Otto didn't look quite as pleased as the other boys, and George talked to him for the first time ever. George was kind of involved with Ana at the time and Thea was Ana's best friend. I had been pushed over to the side like an abused puppy. Ernst looked at me with apologetic eyes.

Herr Sonnenstich walked into the room and slammed his books on the table grabbing our attention. We all sat down immediately, placing our books under our seats. Herr Sonnenstich walked up and down the aisles of chairs as he spoke, "I hope you all had a pleasant winter vacation. But make no mistake, this is not you break any more. It is time that we get back to work." He placed stacks of books on the seats in the front row and instructed that the students pass them back, "Our next assignment will be reading and analyzing several French authors," the book landed on my desk, _Usule Mirouet. _I thank some god for making the author be French. I personally had no desire to read French novels, of the ones I had heard about they were filled with pointless romance and exaggerated story lines, nothing I had any desire to read. But Celeste was French, so maybe there could be a silver lining here.

Herr Sonnenstich spoke up again, "Your first assignment is to read chapters one through five and attempt to find lines that support one of the book's main ideas of redemption. Now can anyone…" I zoned out for the rest of class and stared down at the book. Redemption, could this day get any more painful! I had tried so desperately to escape this nightmare that was descending on Ernst and me, and then the hell hole had to deal out another steaming plate of reminders!

The school day ended, homework had been assigned and hell had begun once again. Ernst had to hurry home to help his mother, so I walked home alone, or so I thought. As I walked down mainstreet towards my house I saw Celeste walk out of the Gabor's residence, Melchior was standing beside her smiling and talking, though I couldn't exactly hear what they were saying.

Celeste's POV  
I walked out of Melchior's house with a smile on my face. My first reading lesson had taken my mind off of other matters concerning my other two friends. Fanny Gabor was an exceptionally kind woman and helped Melchior and I whenever necessary. We had started with the basics. Melchior taught me how to identify certain letters and I learned the alphabet. He made me write all of the letters 10 times before my lesson was deemed to be over. He escorted me to the door with a smile.

"You're a pretty fast learner," he said leaning on the door. I smiled up at him.

"Well I have a great teacher," he laughed a bit.

"So, for the next lesson maybe…"

"Yes?" He leaned closer to me

"Uh, maybe we could meet…"

"Yes?" he moved closer still. Our lips were nearly touching before a loud whistle made us break apart. Hanschen stood in the middle of the road, arms folded across his chest, tapping his foot impatiently, "Ugh," I sighed annoyed, "I have to go. Does Wednesday sound good for the next lesson?" I asked looking back up at him. He cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Wednesday sounds great," He said rubbing the back of his neck embarrassed. He shot a glare at Hanschen who simple smirked, "I'll see you then, Celeste." I loved the way he said my name. I quickly stepped off the porch and ran towards Hanschen, hearing the door shut quietly behind me.

"Must you always ruin my moments?" I asked him harshly as we headed off to his house.

"Must you always go running off with Gabor?" I rolled my eyes.

"Why do you even care? You love Ernst remember!" he made a disgusted face.

"ok, firstly, ew, I do not love you nor have I thought of you in that light, ever. Secondly, I'm just protecting you."

"I don't need protecting! Melchior is harmless." He sighed.

"Whatever you say, Celeste, whatever you say." I saw a book clutched under his arm.

"What's that?" I asked pointing curiously.

"It's not a whiskey bottle if that's what you're thinking," he said sarcastically. I gave him my not amused look. He smiled, I didn't see him smile as much so he was obviously amused by me, "It's the new book we're reading in class." He showed me the cover quickly but then pulled away, "Oh wait! You can't read!" He jeered. I glared.

"How did you know that?" he shrugged.

"I heard you talking to Gabor at the party. But maybe you can help me with it."

"How I can't read." I said sarcastically.

"True, you can't read German. But the book is originally French." I gave him an odd look and he produced a copy of _Ursule Mirouet_. I swear to god I thought that book was following me. I looked down quickly.

"I haven't read that book. Melchior gave me a copy of it for New Year's Eve, but I can't read German."

"So that's why you were at his house!" Hanschen concluded, "You're taking reading lessons from that…. That-"

"Watch it," I said warningly.

"Person," he said finishing the sentence as calmly as he could.

"Look, I know you're still distracted about the whole engagement thing," I said, he turned his head to the ground, "but it is my life. I promise I won't get hurt. And if I do, you can pound his head like you did to the rest of those reformatory boys."

"Thanks," he said before realization that I was mocking his defeat set in, "HEY!" I smiled at him and punched him playfully in the arm.

"Don't worry, everything is going to be okay," I opened the door to the house and walked in quickly. I was due to help Mrs. Manlady in the kitchen again.

"I really hope you're right," I heard him mutter before he closed the door. Secretly I hoped I was right too.

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alrighty! did you like it? Reviews would be wonderful. Tell me what you think about the Iris idea. but most of all R&R, it makes me happy like Timon and Pumba with grubs. (please excuse the disney comparison, I'm on a disney rampage with my friend)


	11. News

Ok, I am SO SO SO SO SO sorry about not updating for such a long time. Anyway, please enjoy this next chapter!

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Hanschen's POV

The weather had warmed slightly as I flipped through the leather journal in my hands. Looking at Celeste, I would have never guessed. Celeste didn't seem like the soft, drawing, artistic type. There were pictures of everything. The one's near the beginning I guessed were places back in France because I had certainly never seen them. I was careful not to touch the pictures; they were in charcoal and could smudge easily. I turned the page and saw a picture of the two horses in the barn, their eyes painted red giving them an eerie feel. I was drawn to these pictures like a moth to a flame. Turning the pages still my eyes fell on everything in the town, with a touch of scarlet. The music box, the altar, even Moritz and Wendla's graves. One final turn, had me face to face with myself.

Celeste had talent, that much was certain. The portrait had me fixated on one thing, the red that she had added to my eye color. It made me look, haunting. I looked at the small date etched into the corner of the page. It was the same night that she had found out about me and Ernst. I was studying one of her pictures when a hand reached out and snatched the book out of my hands. It was the artist herself.

"Who said you could look at this?" She scolded, "Does privacy mean nothing to you?"

"On the contrary, it means everything to me," I said towering above her, "Why didn't you show me that before?" She turned on her heal, the book clutched in her hand.

"It's none of your business what I do and don't show you." She said walking away, not looking at me.

"Celeste," I said stepping in front of her to stop her, "Your drawings are good," I offered, in an attempt that she would allow me to see more of her work. My attempt proved to be futile.

"No, you won't see any more of these drawings!" She said, pushing past me. I grabbed her shoulder and forced her back around.

"Just one more, your choice" She thought for a while.

"And in return?" there always had to be a give take thing with her it was never, oh you're my employer so I should probably show you this! Ever since she had been hanging around Melchior she- wait, I thought, Melchior!

"I'll stop bugging you about Gabor," I said defeated, it was a small price to pay. She smiled.

"Permanently?" She offered.

"Yes, fine permanently!" She flipped through her drawings before she found one.

"Here," she said handing it to me, "I was actually going to give it to Ernst next week for his birthday, so you would have seen it anyway." It was Ernst and I. He was decked in angel wings and a halo, the edges of the halo and wing tips decked in an elegant red, making him look more angelic. Then there was me, decked in a devils tail and bat wings. Both black with red tips at the end. We were standing back to back, arms linked. When I had told Celeste that he was my angel and I was his devil, I guess she took the comparison a bit far. The picture held a haunting beauty of sorts. Something I knew Ernst would appreciate. I had been staring at the picture for a long time before Celeste snapped her fingers in front of my face. I looked up from the charcoal.

She held out her hand, expecting me to return the book. Reluctantly I closed the leather flap and handed it back to her. She quickly grabbed it and walked away. I wanted to ask where she was going but I had a fairly good idea. And after the deal we had just made, asking her would have not been a smart idea.

Celeste's POV

I couldn't believe him; looking at things that weren't his. It was partially my fault though. I was drawing when Amalie asked me to help her put her clothes away and I had carelessly left it in the entry hall. I should have known that Hanschen would have picked it up when he came into the house.

In the past few months, I had become a lot of things; a nurse maid, an apprentice chef, and a friend to Hanschen and Ernst. If anything, Hanschen was like my older brother. He had turned sixteen on the fifth of January. He was always trying to protect me, and Ernst. We fought a lot, but we still trusted one another. It was a weird relationship to say the least.

And Ernst, he was like my sister, even if he was a guy. I could tell him anything and everything. We told each other secrets, laughed, and trusted one another with our lives. Ernst wouldn't be turning sixteen till the eighteenth of March.

While I had been here, I had become enthralled in the zodiac signs that the girls in the town had so eagerly talked about. I begged Melchior to teach me about them. It took convincing, but he eventually taught me that people born during certain times of the year had certain attributes about them. The girls used their signs to try and "predict the future", find their matches, just stupid juvenile stuff like that. As juvenile as it was, it still fascinated me. I was trying to piece together why someone like Hanschen, a Capricorn, would take to someone like Ernst, a Pisces. Even the stars couldn't explain that. However, it was painfully clear how an Aquarius like Melchior and a Capricorn like Hanschen did not get along, and probably never will.

As for Melchior, he had just returned from school for his Easter break, and I was eager to see him. Before he left he gave me an assignment to read some of Amalie's books. It was a little hard for me, and a little embarrassing considering I was about Hanschen's age and was stealing books from a five year old! But I had managed to complete my assignment, and as the days passed, my excitement came bubbling to the top like a tea kettle that had been on the stove for too long.

I walked down the familiar street to his house. There he was sitting on his porch, waiting for me. He was more handsome than I remembered, three months is a long time in my opinion. He rose from his sitting spot on the porch and smiled as I approached his house, I returned the gesture.

"Celeste," he said giving me a hug, I nearly melted and tried not to blush as I returned it, "It's been a while."

"It's only been three months," I said, pushing my hair behind my ear trying to make it seem like I had not thought it was long.

"Three months is a long time in my opinion," He said, I thought he may have been a mind reader. I followed him inside for our next lesson. Fanny greeted me with a smile and open arms.

"Celeste, it has been a while!" I could definitely see the resemblance between Frau Gabor and her son, "We missed your face around here," she said.

"I missed being here as well, Frau." She sighed, putting down her book.

"Celeste, how many times must I tell you to call me Fanny?" I laughed.

"My apologies, Fanny," I said with a smile.

"And how is work?" She asked.

"It's alright, the Rilow's are a very kind family," I could practically hear Melchior roll his eyes. I was about to tell Fanny more before Melchior cleared his throat.

"Celeste, we should probably get your lessons started before you have to go back to work." He said putting his hands on my shoulders. I nodded and followed him, my shoulders on fire from his touch. It was weird, what he could do to me from just a simple touch.

I followed him up to his room, where we frequently had our lessons. The first few times I had been there it was a little weird, but I had gotten used to it. I sat on the opposite side of his desk and opened the book I had "borrowed" from Amalie. It was a book about this little girl who had gotten lost in a city, but then a boy helped her find her way. It was a little longer than the books I had originally started reading. Melchior pointed to a page near the middle of the book.

"Start here," He said. It was the part where the lost girl was meeting the boy for the first time. I started to read.

" 'Are you lost?' the boy asked. 'I don't know which way to go," the girl replied. The boy helped her to her feet. 'Don't worry,' he said, 'I'll help you find your way.' He helped her to her feet," ok so it wasn't the most thrilling story I had ever read or heard, but it helped a lot. He stopped me.

"Ok, it doesn't look like your having too much trouble with this. Maybe you could try something harder?" He walked over to his book shelf. He returned to the table with an unmarked book. It was green, old looking, and had gold lettering on the binding. I can almost see the book now. He opened to a specific page and pointed, "Start here," he said. The book not only had words, but pictures as well. The page that he started me on had a picture of a little girl in a blue plaid dress, holding a little black dog in a basket, standing outside a farm house. There was this look of wonder on her face that I can still see. I began to read.

"'Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.'" I paused and looked at Melchior, "Where's Kansas?" He laughed and pulled out his atlas, he pointed to a place called America.

"Kansas, is a state here." I had heard of America, but when you looked at a picture of the place, it seemed a lot bigger than Germany. I felt like a child, learning everything for the first time. Oh, I remember now, the book was called The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Still to this day, it is one of my favorite books. He only had me read a few pages before the clock signaled that it was 3:00 and the end of my lesson. The lessons were short, but I loved having them. They broke the cycle of monotonous work that I did daily around the Rilow Estate. And having Melchior around to break the monotony was something I had looked forward to in the previous months. But time flew while I was here and I knew that I had to return to reality.

Melchior walked me to the door, like a gentleman. His mother had disappeared to some unknown confines of the house and was nowhere to be found. We reached the door quickly, as I was leaving I felt I had to say something to him.

"Thank you for being my teacher, Melchior," I said sheepishly, I don't think I had ever thanked him before that moment. He gave me a smile. I smiled back up at him. There was almost a heavy silence in the air, but for a split second our eyes locked and there was something there. I can't really describe it. It's almost like sparks, but softer. He leaned down towards me. Out of instinct I back away a bit.

"What's wrong?" He asked quietly. I racked my brain for an answer, but I couldn't come up with one.

"Nothing," I said with a smile, I leaned back towards him. And then in a split second his lips touched mine. I saw stars and didn't want him to pull away. He deepened the kiss, and I did not protest. For some reason, this felt right. He pulled away when the sound of footsteps roused us from our kiss. Frau Gabor, walked from the kitchen into the dining room, not noticing us. I looked back up at Melchior and smiled shyly, trying to hide my blush. That was the first kiss I had ever gotten in my life, and it was amazing. I kinda knew now why stories my mother had told me had dragged on and on about kisses. Melchior smiled at me and kissed me again.

"Can I see you later?" He asked in a voice no louder than a whisper. If Hanschen found out about this, he'd go berserk… then I remembered about that wonderful little deal I had made with him earlier in the day. I leaned up to kiss him quickly, signifying my yes.

"Where do I meet you?" I asked.

"My mother and father have a meeting to go to with some of the other parents, you can come here." He offered. I nodded.

"I'll be here." I smiled at him before he closed the door. I walked back to Hanschen's house on clouds.

As night fell upon the house and my mother fell asleep, I snuck quietly out of the servants quarters. I had not told Hanschen, Frau Rilow, or even my mother about slipping out that night. Telling Hanschen was a bad idea, if he didn't confront me about that night he would certainly confront Melchior. Frau Rilow was a kind woman, but I don't think she would understand. And my mother? Well let's just not go there.

I came around the corner, the street lit by a single gas lamp, and saw Melchior's house standing quietly. I had passed the church, where the parents were having their meeting and saw Fanny sitting there, so I did not worry about running into her once I reached the house. I rapped lightly on the door and not twenty seconds later, Melchior opened the door with a smile. He gestured for me to come inside. At that moment, I really didn't know what was going to happen; I was just happy to be with Melchior.

We reached Melchior's room, like every lesson. But I knew this was no lesson, this was something else. He turned around and kissed me, I kissed back. He slipped the jacket he had given me off my shoulders and led me toward his bed.

A week or two passed. And for the past week I had not been feeling well in the slightest. My stomach seemed to reject every bit of food I put into it. I was tired and had headaches. I didn't dare go to Herr Rilow for help. He may have been a doctor, and a kind man, but I just didn't feel comfortable talking to him. I didn't really want to talk to anyone, Mama just thought I was ill, and Frau Rilow was too busy to care. I only really had one other option, Hanschen.

It was a Saturday, so Hanschen was busily working on his homework in his room. I paused outside of his room before knocking; he was the only one I could ask about what was wrong with me. I quietly knocked on the door jamb, he barely looked up.

"Not now, Amalie," he said without tearing his eyes from the writing he was working on.

"It's me," I said, He looked up from his work.

"What?" he said, he then looked at me carefully and put the pen down, "what's wrong?"

"I need your help," I said quietly.

We found ourselves moments later in the library in the house. Hanschen was flipping through one of his father's medical books. He shut the book and sat down again, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Tell me your symptoms again?" I gave an aggravated sigh.

"I told you!" I said irritably, "I've been tired, had bad headaches, and I've been vomiting like crazy." Hanschen gave me a disgusted look.

"Fine, somebody's didn't get enough sleep last night." He put his head into his hands. Then after a few seconds he raised it suddenly and looked at me, "Celeste? Have your breasts grown in the past, oh I don't know, few weeks?" I had half a mind to slap him for making such a comment, then I remembered how he was involved with Ernst and I let it go.

"Yes…" I said cautiously, "What's your point?" He jumped up and went over to the bookshelf. He scanned his father's medical books until he came across one he needed. He flipped frantically through the pages. He read over one page in particular, several times! He then turned to look at me, then back at the book, then at me again. He closed the book, a bewildered look on his face.

"where were you a few weeks ago?" He asked sternly.

"What is this? The question game?" I asked angrily.

"Please, Celeste," he said slowly, "Just tell me where you were." I took a deep breath. There was no escaping this guy was there?

"No where," I said quietly, looking at the ceiling as if it was suddenly interesting. He pulled me back to earth.

"Where. Were. You?" He said seriously.

"I went over to Melchior's for my lesson." I said, that was half true, I did go over to Melchior's for my lesson…. And I went over to his house that night but that couldn't possibly… could it?

"Is that all you did?" he said, I could see the fire of anger in his eyes.

"Well….." I said hesitantly.

"Celeste, please," He said pleadingly, "You have to tell me." I sighed in defeat.

"I also went back to his house that night." He sat back down and put his head back into his hands sighing deeply, "Is that a problem?"

He looked up. Anger, sadness, sympathy, worry, and protectiveness all filled his eyes at once. He got up and walked to the window, it had started raining. Hanschen paused, just looking at the rain before turning around to face me, "Celeste, you're pregnant." He said bluntly. The news hit me like a ton of bricks. Pregnant? I couldn't breathe; I was trying to take everything in. a knock at the door roused me from my trance.

Hanschen and I both went to the door. There standing in the rain, was Ernst. He flung his arms around Hanschen's neck immediately. The tears on his face mixed with raindrops. Something had upset him, we could both tell.

"April twenty-third," He muttered to Hanschen's shirt. I looked at Hanschen whose eyes fell. We both knew what it meant. The date for the marriage had been set.

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so, tell me, did you enjoy this? well? did ya? did ya? DID YA!?! hahahaha. On another note, I leave for Camp tomorrow and won't be back for a month. So I'm sorry but you're going to have another long wait, I'm sorry, but I hope this chapter will be able to hold you over until then. I love all of you! R&R!


	12. A promise

I AM HOME!!!!!!!!!!! and I have been working hard on this chapter. I really hope you enjoy this because I worked really hard on it and I made it just for yous! ^-^. but in all seriousness, please read this... ready set GO!

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Hanschen's POV

We sat in silence in the library. Celeste stared empty eyed at the ground, a single hand resting subconsciously on her lower stomach. I had my arm around Ernst; his tears fell silent from his eyes which were the only source of emotion on his flawless face. Everything was happening so fast, and all at once. I felt so many emotions rushing toward me like scorching wild fire. Worry about Celeste's pregnancy, Anger towards Ernst's parents for forcing him into this marriage, and vulnerability for not being able to protect either of them. I fought the lump in my throat threatening to produce tears from everything. I couldn't cry, not here not now. Ernst was still oblivious about Celeste's child, and I didn't want to come right out and tell him. Something in my gut told me that it might make matters worse. Celeste was the first to speak.

"I have to get rid of it," she said. I stood up quickly.

"No," I said sternly.

"I have to, Hanschen! What other choice do I have?" she met my gaze and stood as well.

"You could keep the child."

"I'm no mother; I'm not ready for this."

"You can do it."

"It's my body and my future."

"You're not getting rid of it!"

"_You_ are not the boss of me."

"Actually_ I_ am." Anger and frustration was building between us.

"So what, you're going to lock me up and try and stop me?"

"**I'm not letting you end up like Wendla**!" I shook her violently before looking down at the ground, "I'm not letting you end up like Wendla," I muttered again to the ground. Ernst looked up teary eyed.

"What happened?" his voice full of concern and questioning. He let what I had said sink in and turned to face our blue-eyed friend, "You're pregnant?" his voice sounded as though it didn't believe what his mind was telling him. Celeste sat down again and put her head in her hands, "Who's child is it?"

"Who do you think?" I raised my voice more than I should have. The emotions that had built up inside me were threatening to burst to the top in a sea of rage. Ernst shrunk back into the chair, his eyes closed tightly together. I had frightened him. I sat back down next to him and wrapped my arm around him, placing a light kiss on his head, "I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"It's okay," he said, his voice shaky from tears. He looked back and Celeste, her blue orbs fixated on the rug in front of her once more, "Does Melchior know?" She looked up at him and shook her head.

"I just found out, he doesn't know yet."

"Well you have to tell him," Ernst said wiping the tears from his eyes, "Melchior didn't even get a chance to talk to Wendla before- well you know," he finished quietly, "You're his second chance to make things right. You have to tell him before he leaves tomorrow!" I looked at Ernst and felt extremely proud. I've never seen him be so strong for someone else, even though his own world was threatening to come crashing down as well. I gave a weak smile, but he didn't see. In my mind, I can't even begin to describe the pride I had for him. Celeste looked up at Ernst.

"You're right, Ernst, I need to talk to him." A loud clap of thunder startled us all, "Orage fichu," she cursed under her breath. I walked over to the window and looked out, I sighed.

"Doesn't look like this will be letting up anytime soon," I said half to myself, half to Celeste. As much as I wanted to Kill Melchior right now, I realized that Celeste had to talk to him. I looked back over at her, staring at the ground. I tossed a jacket into her lap. She looked up at me.

"Go," I said. Before I could blink, she hugged me and ran out the door into the storm. I looked out the window and saw her running down the hill, my jacket wrapped around her. Then I realized I had almost forgotten about Ernst, about our own problems. I turned back to Ernst, sitting on the edge of the couch, hands clasped together firmly. I could see the glint of tears on his face again.

I sat back down with him and wrapped my arms around him, holding him close. I kissed the top of his forehead, "I'm sorry," he whimpered as he let the tears fall freely onto my shirt.

"Don't be," I whispered to his hair as I held him, "I am so proud of you."

"Why?" He said confused, "How on earth could you be proud of me?" I tilted his chin up.

"How could I not?" I kissed him passionately, but I felt a tear drop onto my cheek. He looked at me with sad eyes.

"We still have our own problems," He said quietly. We sat back on the couch and stared aimlessly into the fire. Searching for ideas, answers, I don't know what. I had only hoped that Celeste would have more luck than us.

Celeste POV  
The rain fell hard and drenching against Hanschen's coat as I ran down the hill, trying not to slip in the mud that now caked my shoes. The news of my pregnancy… Was so much for me to take in. I had to talk to Melchior before he left. I ran as though my life, and the potential life within me, depended on it.

As I ran, I saw the street lamp next to Melchior's house come into view. My heart gave a sigh of relief when that beacon of hope came into my sight. I picked up my pace and ran to that little blue house on the corner. I knocked rapidly on the door. It was early enough that people would be awake in the house, but late enough to know that I wouldn't be interrupting dinner. Fanny came to the door, the light shining like warm fire from inside the house, welcoming and safe.

"Celeste!" She said surprised, "My dear child, what on earth are you doing here? And in this weather! You must be freezing, do come in." I walked into the entry way, not wanting to go further into the warmth of the house I had spent so much time in.

"Fanny, is Melchior home?" Her eyes fell.

"I'm terribly sorry my dear," her voice was not a reassuring to my current predicament, "Melchior left this afternoon for school." My heart sank past the bottom of my stomach.

"No," I started quietly, "No, no he said he didn't have to leave till tomorrow!"

"A teacher from his school came today and said he had to leave today, the head master made an error with scheduling and refused to let the kids have one more day off from school." I was left speechless in the hall, drenched and confused, "I'm sorry my dear, but he won't be back till summer." She put a hand on my shoulder, " Are you alright dear? you look awfully pale." I looked back up into her green eyes, they looked so much like Melchior's I broke my gaze.

"I'm alright Fanny." I said looking at my mud covered shoes.

"Are you sure? You are welcome to stay the night if you'd like, I can't imagine you walking home in such dastardly weather." She said looking out the window in the door. I did not remove my eyes from my shoes, which melted together with the scarlet carpet like candle wax through the tears forming in my eyes. I took a breath and wiped my tears when she wasn't looking.

"Thank you for your hospitality Fanny, but I must be getting back to the Rilow's," she looked at me with concerned eyes.

"If what you needed to tell Melchior was important, I can write him a letter for you." I shook my head.

"No, it's nothing of importance," I lied, "I just wanted to say goodbye, I will be quite busy tomorrow and didn't think I'd get a chance to say goodbye." I felt the tears coming again, but I bit my tongue to keep them down. Fanny snapped her fingers.

"I almost forgot," she walked over to small table up against the wall of the entry way and retrieved a small envelope from one of the drawers. She presented it to me, "Melchior left this for you." She said with a smile. I took the envelope as if it was the most precious item in the whole world.

"Th-Thank you," I said with the lump in my throat growing to larger, "I really should be getting home now." She nodded with a smile.

"Well alright darling," She opened the door for me, "you try and get home quickly now." I walked out but did not leave the shelter of the porch. Instead I gazed down at the little white envelope in my hand and slowly opened it.

I slid the contents of the envelop into my hand. A letter slowly sliped out of its encasing, yet the envelope still felt weighted. A few more shakes and a ring, gold with a red stone, came falling out of the white paper. I stared at the ring, mesmerized…and sad. I unfolded the letter Melchior wrote to me:

Dear Celeste,

I am sorry that I had to leave you without saying good bye, but hopefully this letter

Will suffice when words cannot be said between us. That night that we had together

A few weeks ago, I hope to feel your closeness as I hold you in my arms when I

return. I thought That when I lost Wendla, my life was over. But when you came into

my life I felt a weight of clarity lifted from my shoulders. My life was not over and I

knew that I had another chance to make things right. My dear Celeste, what I

am trying To say is that you are the light that shines in the darkness of my life,

you are My sun and moon and my reason for living. I love you with all of my heart.

Please accept this ring, as a token of my good bye. I shall see you in the summer.

With Love,

Melchior

I could barely breathe. The tears that swarmed my eyes came as heavy as the rain now. I ran for the house, but could only make it to the street lamp. I latched onto it with all my weight and collapsed onto my knees in the thick and muddy street and wept. I could not hold myself up. The runny earth began to seep into my stockings. I stood up, still latched onto the pole like a new born babe latches to its mother, still too weak to walk. After partially regaining my composure I started back up the hill toward that burning beacon of warmth and sadness. And yet, in the back of my mind an agonizing question burned with fury; what were Hanschen and Ernst going to do.

Hanschen's POV

I had no idea what we were going to do. I let a few tears fall silently down my cheek as I held Ernst in my arms. Not an idea, not a drop of clarity, could come to mind. I repeated a mantra in my head, this can't be happening. Not him, not my Ernst. They can't make him do this. But my better judgment knew that the truth of the matter couldn't be ignored. Ernst was getting married.

Somehow though, I still couldn't believe it. True, my parents had gotten married around the age Ernst was now. But in my eyes he was still that doe eyed kid back in elementary school that couldn't even stand up to Bobby Mahler. In my eyes, he still needed protecting. It was if I was paralyzed with nothing to do but watch in horror, as the one light in my dark life was extinguished and taken away from me. I couldn't let them do this to Ernst.

"We have to leave," I said looking out the window. Ernst looked up at me with those doe eyes.

"What?"

"I'm not letting them get to you. We have to leave this place." He sat up, my arm fell from his shoulder, but I still held his hand tight.

"Hanschen, we couldn't."

"And why not?" I tried to say with even a tad bit of optimism in this dark and trying time, "We can leave, we can be safe," I tilted his head up again to face me, "We can be together."

"Hanschen," He said quietly, "That is why we can't leave." I was confused, "If we leave, together, we can't come back. Everyone will know why we left together, and if we come back we'd be killed." We sat in silence for a moment, pondering what we'd have to give up. Ernst would not be able to pursue being a pastor. I would lose my family. Amalie was still so young, my mother would be left heartbroken, and my father… would lose his son. We would become the examples for younger children of what not to be, what not to do. Condemned by our town and outcast by any society. But then it occurred to me, I loved Ernst with all my heart; and I would do anything for him. I'd die for him.

"I don't care," I said after the silence. He looked at me, "I'd die for you," I kissed him, "I love you." He smiled and touched my face, but that smile quickly disappeared to the face of sadness and doubt.

"Hanschen, suppose we could run away where on earth would we go?"

"We could go to America."

"We don't have the money Hanschen." I thought for a bit. There must be some place that we could go, somewhere that we didn't have to pay for travel. Only one place came to mind.

"We could go to Priapia." Ernst looked at me stunned.

"The artist colony? You think they'd take us in?"

"I don't know, but it's worth a shot. If we don't you'll have to stay here and marry Thea," I held his face in my hand, "and I don't want to lose you." I heard the front door open and shut suddenly. Celeste had returned. Ernst and I both stood up and ran to the entry way to make sure she was alright. What we found was Celeste, sitting against the door, her head in her lap, sobbing. Ernst ran to comfort her.

"What happened?" I said, still standing. She handed me a damp piece of paper, a letter from Melchior. I read it silently to myself.

"Did you talk to him?" Ernst asked her. She shook her head.

"He left this afternoon," She said through tears, "I- I have to get contact to him somehow!" She gripped Ernst's sleeve jacket.

"You can't get in contact with him without risking your own safety." I said refolding the letter, handing it to Ernst to read. Celeste wiped her tears and stood up.

"I have to! I need to talk to him!" I placed both hands on her shoulders.

"He's back at the reformatory! If you try and go there, those boys will hurt you. If you write a letter to him, those boys will intercept it and put both of you in danger!" she did not look me in the eye.

"I don't care, I have to talk to him."

"You'd put yourself in danger for him?" I said harshly, I didn't want her to get hurt by the hand of those… monsters at the reformatory.

"I'd die for him! I love him!" She half cried. My arms fell back to my sides. She loved him, and if I knew anything I knew what love felt like, I looked at Ernst and knew what Celeste was feeling. I brushed some of the hair out of her face.

"Celeste, I know you want to talk to him. But trust me, if those boys get a hold of you or a letter, they will hurt you. You need to be somewhere where you and the baby can be safe." She looked down again, "You do want to keep the baby right?" she gave a short curt laugh.

"Of course I do, but it's not like I can work while I'm pregnant!" a light went off in my head, a quick glance at Ernst and I knew we were thinking the same thing.

"You need to come with us."

"What?"

"We're leaving."

"Leaving? But why?"

"I can't lose him." I said looking over Celeste's shoulder. Ernst got up and walked to me, taking my hand.

"Come with us," He said, she looked down at her feet again, "Please? Celeste, you're one of my greatest friends and I don't want you to get hurt here." He grabbed her hand too. She smiled that sad smile at Ernst and was silent for what seemed like an eternity.

"Ok," She said in a voice no louder than a whisper. Ernst hugged her immediately.

"Thank you," he said.

"When do we leave?" She asked me. Then it came to mind, we had a place that we had to get to now. And to tell the truth I had no idea how we were going to get there safely, and together. I looked at Celeste and Ernst. They were my family now and were looking to me for guidance when I hadn't a clue what to do. Ernst grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye.

"Are you ok, Hanschen?" I squeezed his hand reassuringly and smiled.

"We'll leave next week." Celeste gave that sad smile again, but doubt filled her eyes. She gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze and mouthed a thank you as she passed me and walked toward the back entrance of the house; toward the servants quarters. I pulled Ernst close to me and kissed his cheek softly before holding him close, "Once we're out of this place our life will be better," I muttered to his head before kissing him, "I promise."

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So, I hope you enjoyed that chapter. I will have the next one up as soon as I can! but first, a quick thank you to all of the people who have stayed up on this story! I love all of you!


	13. Strength in Gunshots

AP. United. States. History. is. a. bitch..... Ok well, school has started for me, sophmore year! Still trying to get back into the rhythim of Publishing weekly... but unfortunatley I don't think that's going to be very possible. I'm terribly sorry. SHOUT OUT TO ALL OF THE DEDICATED READERS WHO MAKE MY LIFE A HAPPY ONE! LOVES TO ALL OF YOU!

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Hanschen's POV

I quietly closed the lid on one of two large suitcases. Tonight was the night that Ernst, Celeste and I were leaving. It was about 10:30. We had to make sure everyone was asleep by the time we left. We had all agreed to meet in the barn and set out to Priapia from there.

I sat down on my bed and looked around the room I had had since I was born. The walls still a light blue. My desk glowed dark brown in the lamplight. My homework and school books for the next day lay there like ancient rocks, never to be touched by me again. I lay back on my old bed, now stripped of its blankets. The warm sent of cinnamon that always had permeated the mattress still existed. After sitting up I began to think. This was the last time I would ever see this room, would ever set foot in this house. I never knew how good my life was until this very moment. And yet I knew that I had to give it up if I ever hoped to keep the one I loved. The lump in my throat that threatened to produce tears at this was prominent, but I would not allow it to escape. I kept trying to convince myself that this was best and that I would not miss it so much.

I heard my door creek open and my heart began to race thinking that it was one of my family members. I was relieved to find only Celeste standing in the door. Her eyes solemn, her hands empty.

"Are you ready?" she asked quietly walking into my room and sat down on my bed with me.

"Yes," I said looking around the room again, "I just can't believe I'll never see this again." She put a hand on my shoulder.

"I know it's hard…." She had left her home once before, to come live with us, "You should say goodbye to her." I looked at her confused.

"Who?"

"Amalie," my heart sank, Amalie was only five and it tore my heart knowing that I had to leave her. But I couldn't leave without saying goodbye.

Celeste walked with me down the hall quietly and paused outside of Amalie's room. I had the key to her music box in hand, but I couldn't bring myself to open the door.

"Go," Celeste said quietly with a sad smile, "She needs you right now." I nodded and headed inside the room. Amalie was lying in her bed, asleep. Her teddy bear clutched to her chest and her blond curls sprawled against the pillow. My little angel. I walked in slowly and knelt beside her bed, placing a hand on her shoulder to gently rouse her.

"Amalie? Amalie wake up, please." She opened her eyes and stared up at me.

"Hansi? It's not time to get up." I smiled at her.

"No, it's not. But I have to tell you something." She sat up in her bed and held her teddy bear in her lap.

"Hansi, why do you look so sad?" She said innocently. I felt the lump in my throat reforming.

"Amalie, I- I have to leave tonight."

"Why?"

"Because," I hesitated, "I don't know if you understand this, but I found someone that I love a lot."

"Like Mama and Papa," I sat down next to her on her bed.

"Yes," I smiled, "Like Mama and Papa. But I can't be with that person if I stay here. Do you understand?" She nodded.

"So, you leave tonight and come home tomorrow?" She looked up at me with her big blue eyes. I bit my tongue to fight back tears.

"N-no Ama, I can't come home tomorrow."

"When will you be home? Who's gonna help me get to sleep when you're gone?" She said, a little sad.

"I-I don't know when I'll be back, Ama. But I need you to be strong for Mama and Papa. You're almost six now, and I need you to be brave, can you do that for me?" She nodded and put her head down on the top of her teddy bear. She was crying, "Shhh Shhh, don't cry. It's alright. I'm here, I've got you." I said hugging her close. I looked down at the gold key in my hand, "Amalie?" She looked up again, her eyes swimming with tears, "I want you to have this, if you ever miss me, just hold this tight, okay?" She took the key and held it in her small hands and nodded. She sniffled back her tears and looked at her teddy bear. She held it out to me.

"And if you miss me you can hug this." She said quietly. I took the bear and kissed her forehead before hugging her. I felt her quietly crying into my shirt, she pulled back and rubbed the tears from her eyes.

"There's my brave girl," I said smiling at her, hugging her again.

"I-I'll miss you Hansi," She said choking back the tears that threatened to come again.

"I'll miss you, too. I'll see you again, Ama. I promise." I heard Celeste tap lightly on the door; I knew I had to go. I looked down once more at Amalie, "I have to go now. I love you." I said with one last squeeze, it took all my willpower to pull away.

"I love you too Hansi." She looked down at the key again and held it close.

"Now, I need you to go back to sleep." She nodded and lay back down onto her pillow. I sang her to sleep for the last time that night. As she fell asleep again, I lightly kissed her head and headed back out into the hallway, the tears in my eyes now. I looked down at the small teddy bear in my hand and let out a sad sigh. Celeste grabbed my free hand.

"I know it's hard," She said again, "You never stop missing the people you love." She smiled. I hugged her for support. After pulling away I looked at her.

"Thank you," I said for the first time to her.

"For what?" She asked.

"For everything." She smiled at me.

"Ernst is probably waiting for us in the barn, we should get going." I took a deep breath and nodded. Once we were at the bottom of the steps I paused and put a letter to my parents on the entry way table. I looked over at Celeste.

"Did you say your goodbyes?" She nodded solemnly.

"I told my mother about the baby," I looked at her wide eyed, "She said that if leaving is what it takes to keep it safe than that is what I must do." She glanced up from the floor, "Don't worry, I didn't tell her anything about you or Ernst." I smiled sadly.

"It doesn't matter now," Celeste and I went to the door; she walked out towards the barn. I stopped to look around the house one last time. I sighed and walked out the door for the last time and went to join Ernst and Celeste.

As I entered the barn, the scent of animals and warm air hit my face. Ernst and Celeste were sitting down in a pile of straw, just talking. As Ernst saw me walk in he ran to hug me, I openly accepted his embrace and kissed him. Celeste stood behind smiling.

"We should go now," I said. They both nodded. Celeste went to mount the white horse, but I stopped her, "What do you think you are doing?" I said frantically.

"Getting onto the horse."

"You can't ride a horse," She took her foot out of the stirrup and looked apprehensively at me.

"Why not?"

"It puts too much pressure on your cervix." Both Ernst and Celeste looked at me like I had 12 heads. I had been reading my father's medical books too much, "It'll hurt the baby."

"Well fine," She said with sass, "How exactly are we supposed to get to Priapia? Walk?" and just then an idea went off in my head.

"Hanschen," Ernst said, "What are you thinking?" I smiled at both of them

Celeste's POV

Ernst and Hanschen had loaded the last of our bags onto the top of the carriage.

"Let's play the good idea bad idea game." I said crossing my arms as Hanschen checked the horse's straps, "This is a bad idea." He looked up and walked over to me.

"No, this is a good idea. We can carry all of our bags this way, you can be safe and we won't have to worry about shelter."

"And when your parents notice-" I stopped short.

"They won't worry too much about a carriage missing." Hanschen said without turning around to face me.

"Hanschen, I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Its fine," He walked around and opened the door to Ernst and I, "After you." He said like a mock gentleman. I rolled my eyes and Ernst gave a little laugh, "I'll drive this for the first day," Hanschen said as he shut the door, "We'll trade off when we get to a clearing." I leaned out the window.

"You honestly think that there's going to be a road straight to this Priapia place?"

"No," He said, hopping up to his seat, "But there will be." And with that he slapped the reigns against the horses and we took off toward our future.

I sat back down across from Ernst. He smiled sadly at me, "What about you?" I asked.

"What about me?"

"Did you have anyone to say goodbye to at home?" He shook his head.

"No, but I did talk to someone before I came here." He looked out the window.

"Who?"

"Thea," He said quietly, looking at the night sky.

"What?!" I nearly screamed, "Why would you talk to Thea?!?" He put his hands in his lap.

"I had to tell her. I had to tell her I couldn't marry her-" He paused for a second, "And why…" My jaw dropped.

"You didn't!"

"I had to!" He said desperately, "I told her because, despite what you'd think, I think it helped her ease off her anger at me. Besides, the whole town will know by sunrise because I told her, it will stop people from asking questions." He looked back out the window.

We did not turn onto Main Street. I saw Melchior's house pass our window and I looked away, down at the ring he had enclosed in his letter. Instead we continued down a dirt beaten road, into the woods. I leaned my head out the window.

"Hanschen, stop." He pulled the horses to a stop and looked at me.

"Why?" I opened the door and motioned for Ernst to follow me.

"Come down."

We stood at the edge of the forest and looked at the town. Ernst had grabbed Hanschen's hand. We just watched as the stars and moon peaked down onto the little town.

"We can't come back," Ernst said quietly.

"Take a good look boys," I said, sighing. Ernst took my hand as well. We just stood there in silence.

"We can do this," Hanschen said. Ernst and I both looked at him; he gave Ernst's hand a squeeze and Ernst squeezed mine, "We can do this."

I nodded at the both of them. Ernst smiled and looked down, "Everything is going to change now isn't it?" he said. Hanschen nodded.

"Yes, but for the better." We looked once more at the little town we had called home.

"We should get going." I said.

After Ernst and I crawled back into the carriage it lurched forward. Ernst and I looked out the widow and something was telling me that Hanschen was looking too. The trees closed around us and the town was pushed out of sight. There was no more goodbyes, only looking forward to the future.

"How exactly do you know this…Priapia exists?"

"Our friend lives there." Ernst said with a smile, the first smile I had seen since we left.

"Your friend?"

"Yes, her name is Ilse." I nodded

"Ilse. So is she going to help us?" Ernst chuckled.

"If Hanschen lets me talk than yes." I smiled.

"Not too fond of Herr Rilow is she?"

"They never got along well when we were kids. After Ilse left…"

"Wait, she left home?" Ernst nodded.

"Her father threw her out on the streets."

"That's terrible."

"She's alright now; she says the colony is safe enough." I looked down and held my hand to my lower stomach.

The carriage came to a sudden halt. I leaned my head out the window, "What was that?"

"Me, stopping." Hanschen said with a smirk, "We can rest here for the rest of the night." I looked out the window, we were in a clearing. I nodded to him.

We tied the horses to a tree and unpacked what little blankets we had. The carriage was just big enough to sleep all three of us. Ernst and I slept on the seats while Hanschen lay on the ground. But I couldn't sleep I stared above my head and could see the night sky clearly from my window. I wondered so many things. How was Mama? How was Amalie? How were we going to get through this? Soon my thoughts began to fade as I fell into a quiet and peaceful sleep.

Hanschen's POV

The light poured into the windows of the carriage and woke me. I looked around and began to panic. Ernst and Celeste were not in the carriage. I sat up quickly and opened the door, stepping out. The horses were still there, but where could have Ernst and Celeste gone?

"Hanschen?" I turned around quickly and nearly screamed from surprise, it was just Celeste, "Good you're up." I clutched my hand to my chest.

"Don't scare me like that!" She laughed… but panic sank into my chest again, I looked around frantically, "Where's Ernst?!" Celeste turned around and pointed behind me. Ernst was coming through the woods, his hand clasped around a wine skin he took from his home.

"He went to get water." She said smugly.

"Well, we have to get going." She rolled her eyes.

"What's the rush? Don't you want something to eat first?" I looked down, Celeste had one of the baskets from the house and it was filled with berries, "It's not much, but it'll do for now." I looked back up at her. And took a handful of the berries, and stuffed them into my mouth.

"Now we should get going," I marched off to retrieve the horses.

As I began to untie Teufel, our big black stallion he reared. I pulled him back to the ground and tried to calm him down.

"Hanschen!" Ernst said suddenly, I had my hand firmly grasped onto the horse's reigns. Celeste and I both turned around to face him.

"What is it?" Celeste said. Ernst stared pale faced in my direction. Not at me, but past me, into the bushes.

I tied horse back down to the tree and ran back to the carriage, stepping up on the back. I began to dig through my smaller bag until I pulled out what I needed. I walked back towards Ernst.

"What's wrong?" He peered over my shoulder.

"There-There's something in the bushes," he whispered, clutching my arm. I walked slowly toward the bush, but heard the ones just to my left rustle. _**BANG!**_ I shot the small pistol I had taken from my father's study into the bush; I heard nothing hit the ground. As I turned back I saw both Ernst and Celeste with their hands clasped over their ears crouched to the ground.

"Enfer sanglant," Celeste said, "What was that!" I put the smoking pistol back down at my side.

"There's nothing there." I replied, looking back down at the gun.

"Why didn't you tell us you brought that?" Ernst asked, a little frightened by the loud noise.

"It's only for protection Ernst," I said with a smile, "It's not like anything bad is going to happen to us." Before I could breathe the end of that sentence, people dropped down from the trees. My mouth was covered and the gun was wretched from my hands. I saw others do the same to Ernst and Celeste. I bit down on the hand of the man who was grabbing me. He screamed in agony. Celeste sent a hurdling blow with her elbow into her captor's gut and Ernst sent a painful kick into his captor's groin, "RUN!" I screamed. But it wasn't long until more of them were upon us. The man behind me grabbed me roughly around the neck. Another pulled Celeste down to her knees and held her there. The last shoved Ernst down on the ground and brought him back up by his hair, holding a knife to his throat.

"Let us go!" Celeste said.

"And why should we?" The man holding Ernst said as he brought the crude knife closer to his neck.

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM!" I yelled. The man laughed and looked down at Ernst.

"Ah, a knight in armor saving his fair damsel?" He cackled.

"Loison, stop!" I heard a woman say forcefully. At once Celeste and I were dropped back to the ground.

"And what gives you the right to tell me what to do, missy?" the one called Loison asked.

"Drop him right now, Padinsky sent me to come after you twits!" Ernst was dropped back down to the forest floor. A shadow cast over me. I pushed myself onto my elbow and look at the pair of dirty bare feet standing in front of me, "Hanschen Rilow? Could that possibly be you?" I looked up.

"Ilse," I said.

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GASP! Did I just bring Ilse into this story? Why yes I did! R&R, you are the fuel to the fire of this story.


	14. White Tents

what? It's been less than a month and I have been able to upload... ITS A MIRACLE! I'm getting more control over my homework and I have a small part in a play, so I'll have some down time to keep writing. So please enjoy chapter 14 (This is my best friend's lucky number so lets hope you like it!)

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Hanschen's POV

Ilse looked down at me with a jesters smile, "What on earth are you doing so far away from home, Hanschen?" I pushed myself up to my feet and pointed at her face.

"None of your business," I personally had never really liked Ilse. She was stubborn, but a head full of clouds, and too adventurous for her own good. She hadn't changed much since she left the town. Her bark colored hair now fell down to her waist, knotted and woven into dreadlocks. Her skin was tanned from spending so much time out in the sun. She wore a dress of some green home-made cloth of sorts. Her feet stood bare against the spring ground. Despite how she had been hurt, her eyes still held a childish joy to them which I couldn't understand.

"It was just a simple question," She said crossing her arms, "and you should probably answer." I looked over her shoulder to see Ernst pushing himself up. He looked so frightened and shaken by the experience. He grabbed his arm shyly as the men who jumped us focused their attention on me and Ilse. I pushed past her to go to Ernst. She turned around, "Ernst Robel? You both shouldn't be here what will your parents-"

"They don't matter anymore," I said, cutting her off. I inspected Ernst's arm to make sure it wasn't broken, "Are you alright?" I said quietly, he nodded. I could hear Ilse's quiet footsteps coming up behind me.

"Don't matter? What's going on?" Celeste cut in, her trust was thin.

"He said it was none of your business." I walked back over to her, ignoring Ilse's questioning.

"How about you? No bleeding? Pain?" She shook her head and looked behind me at Ilse who still stood with a confused look on her face. I was about to say something before Ernst barged in.

"We need a place to stay." Ilse glanced at Ernst, "Please, Ilse, we need your help."

Ilse looked at me, to Celeste, and back at Ernst, "On one condition," She said, "You need to tell me what's going on." I gave an aggravated sigh. I knew that Ilse would be able to help us; but, I didn't know if we could trust her friends, especially that Loison character, or if they'd even take us in.

"Fine," Celeste said before I could speak. I glared at her, "We're going to have to tell her sooner or later," she hissed at me.

"Fine," I said to Ilse, she smiled.

We walked down a hidden goat path beaten into the ground. Isle walked out in front. Celeste walked next to her quietly talking; I strained my ears to hear but could not make out any words. I looked over at Ernst, he looked so scared. I leaned over to his ear, "We're going to be alright, Ilse's going to help us." I said this even though I did not even know if we were to be accepted.

Ilse stopped when we reached a thicket of brush. She pulled back the branches and revealed to us a clearing, "Welcome to Priapia," she said with a smile. White canvas tents dotted the clearing. Small camp fires were going outside of some of them. Music and laughter floated from somewhere inside the camp. It was so different from home. It was warm, welcoming, and safe. Ilse walked on toward a large tent near the middle of the encampment, "Follow me, you'll have to talk to Padinsky." We followed like dogs.

We walked into the large tent, an easel stood in a corner holding an unfinished painting. Paints scattered the ground. A large rug sat in the middle. A portion of the tent was cut off by hanging tarps and next to it a fire pit. This was someone's home, "Sit down," Isle said and walked off to the hidden area of the tent, disappearing behind a curtain. I sat down between Ernst and Celeste, close to the exit in case we needed to make a break for it.

Hushed discussion came from behind the curtain. Harsh whispers and aggravated sighs. Soon, Ilse came back through the curtain with a man that looked as if he was in his early thirties. His face looked like stone hardened with time. His stringy black hair fell to his shoulders in a greasy, tangled mess. A scar cut across his pale green eye which stared empty into space. His other eye was a fierce green of a snake, staring down at us like mice. I trusted this to be Padinsky.

"Who are you people?" He asked, his voice gruff from years of tobacco, his arms crossed. Ilse stood behind him, motioning for us to stand up.

"I'm Hanschen Rilow," I said, "This is my good friend Celeste Chanson and this is my-" I hesitated. Love? Boyfriend? "This is Ernst Robel." I said putting a hand on his shoulder. Padinsky's thin mouth didn't show any emotion.

"What are you doing here?"

"We left home," said Ernst.

"Well I can see that," Padinsky said harshly, "But why did you leave home?" I didn't know how to handle this situation. I could just tell him that Celeste was pregnant, but that wouldn't explain why Ernst and I were there, "_well?_"

"She's pregnant and needed a safe place," Ernst said quickly before I had time to think. Padinsky gave a grunt of approval.

"Which one of you is the father?" Ernst and I both went red and began to stutter. Celeste cut into our incessant rambling.

"Neither of them," She said dryly, "They're not like that." Silence fell over the tent. This person barely knew us, and to come out with it just like that was….well awkward. I tried to regain my composure as quickly as possible.

"You two are together?" Ilse said standing next to Padinsky, "I knew it would happen!" I blushed furiously, but Ernst grabbed my hand.

"You were right," He said, calling her off, "Is there a problem with that?" he said looking at Padinsky. He didn't move, "We would have been killed if we didn't leave," Ernst's eyes fell to the dirt and rug covered ground, "Can you please help us?" that silence fell over the room again while Padinsky thought. He gave a great sigh.

"Sit down, all of you," He took his place on the great round rug, we did the same, "There are…." He paused, "Some complications with you staying here." My heart fell. This was the only place that we could possibly stay.

"Such as?"

"Well for starters, we are not a charity house. We can't just take people in whenever we wish. We are firstly, an artists' colony." A light went off in my head.

"So we have to have some talent?"

"Yes, your friend here," he motioned to Ilse, who now sat beside him, "was taken in because we needed new models." I leaned to Celeste's ear.

"Do you have your sketch book with you?" She looked at me, blushing.

"Hanschen, those aren't nearly-"

"Celeste can draw." Padinsky looked at her; Celeste looked at the ground straight in front of him.

"Do you have these drawings with you Fraulein Chanson?" She nodded shyly and pulled her small brown journal out of her bag, handing it to Padinsky. He flipped it open fiercely.

"Be careful-" Celeste stated quickly as if this book was her child, "The drawings are charcoal…. They smudge." Her hands returned to her lap as Padinsky looked through the bundle of leather and paper. He paused on many of them. Then, after a long time, he handed the book back.

"You are quite talented, Celeste," He said resting his arm on his knee, "However, that leaves you two." Celeste turned to me and gave a sly smile.  
"Hanschen can sing," it was my turn to go bright red. I began to ramble again, trying to say I couldn't, Padinsky held up a hand for me to stop.

"Can you or can't you?" I nodded.

"A little but-"

"Sing something."

"What?"

"You heard me, sing something." I looked down at the floor. Celeste nudged my side.

"Sing some of Amalie's lullaby," She whispered harshly, I looked at Ernst. He didn't even know I _could_ sing. I sang just a few bars of her lullaby and sat in silence, waiting for criticism. It never came. Instead a slow, loud clap came from Padinsky.

"Impressive Herr Rilow," I winced at the name, it reminded me of my father. It reminded me of how hurt and angry he must be right now. I pushed those memories to the far recesses of my skull and tried to focus on the topic at hand.

Padinsky turned his gaze to Ernst, "and you?" Ernst said nothing for the longest time, he was thinking. I knew he couldn't draw like Celeste, for he never had the artistic eye. He stayed far away from the church choir, for he never had a voice. And he could never write, for he never had a graceful hand. There was one singular thing that Ernst was good at, and that was religion.

"I don't have anything artistic to offer you, sir," He said quietly and ashamed. He had been the most meaningful member of our… team…. And now, he threatened to break from us. I knew his talent. I knew that it was useful.

"He knows his bible," I said. Padinsky raised his eyebrows.

"The bible? Not very common for some people like you." I could practically feel Ernst's heart falling. _People like you_. The words seared like a hot branding iron into my skull. _People like you_. It made me… us…. Feel lower than low. _People like you_. I wanted to kill him. _People like you. _He had no idea what we had been through.

"Now you listen, right now." I said angrily, "Who we…" I looked at Ernst, "Love, does not contend with what religion we are." I looked at Celeste and words that she said that day she found out about us rang in my head like the bells of her country's Notre Dame, "Love is meant to be understood and accepted, regardless of who you are. If he goes, I go."

"And I as well," Celeste said. Ernst looked at the both of us and gave a shy smile. Padinsky just sat there.

"We could always use a little… religious enlightenment in our camp," He said, finally breaking a small smile, "And it's been a while since we had a small one running around. You are welcome to stay here." He said finally. We graciously thanked him and left his tent with Ilse.

The white canvas fell back into place behind us. I hugged Ernst as soon as those flaps closed.

"Thank you," Ernst said quietly.

"No, thank you, we couldn't have gotten this far without you," I placed a small kiss on Ernst's lips. Ilse stood behind Celeste quietly, she cleared his throat.

"Well," She said, "I should probably show you to your temporary home."

Once again we followed Ilse through a maze of white tents, coming to a smaller one near the center of everything. Our senses were flooded with the sights and smells of Priapia. Women dressed in patterned skirts and flowing tops sat around a fire, talking and cooking something that smelt wonderful. Music came out from another tent, pausing now and again accompanied by a curse and mumbling. The tent flaps of one such tent were open, welcoming the spring air, displaying some man in brown pants and dirty cotton shirt dotted with paint working at a piece of canvas.

"Welcome home," She said with a smile, opening the tent flaps to the small home. It resembled Padinsky's home quite closesly. Carpets lay over the exposed dirt floor, a tarp cut off part of the tent, clothes lay scattered out of a small suitcase and a fire sat in one part of the round home. It was small, but it would do. At least until we could get our own tent, "I know it's not much compared to the Rilow Estate, Hanschen," She said with a hint of resentment, "I know you're probably used to more." I didn't answer her.

"This'll be fine, Ilse. Thank you." Ernst said kindly. Ilse may have been friends with Ernst, but I still didn't like her. There was something there that I just didn't trust. I knew it wasn't where she lived, for we now lived in the same place. It might be her looks, she had these shifty eyes that, although bright, just threw me off. Maybe it was just the fact that she was female, considering the only ones I trusted were Celeste and Amalie. I set down the bags that we had carried; the others had miraculously found their way into the tent by themselves.

Ilse walked over to her over packed dressing area and dug through a pile of clothes, tossing a dress here, throwing a shoe there until she came out with another tarp. She threw it at me forcefully, "You can hang this to make a room for you and Ernst," She looked at Celeste kindly, "I can find you another cot to sleep on for now."

"What about us?" I said offended, "Why can't we have a cot?" She sighed,

"They take a while to make, and right now I only know of one that we can use. She gets priority because she's pregnant." Ilse walked out of the tent to retrieve the bed.

I turned to Celeste, "This 'pregnancy priority' thing isn't going to become a regular thing with you is it?" she giggled.

"I wasn't planning on it, but since Ilse brought it up it might," I gave an agrivated sigh. Ernst put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's alright, at least we don't have to share a room with them," he motioned to the tarp, I smiled. Privacy was something that we could finally have.

"Would you mind helping me hang this up?" I asked. He nodded and Celeste began to reorganize our things. We were finally home.

Home, something that I thought we wouldn't ever have had finally come to us. Somewhere we were accepted.

Ernst and I pulled on the ropes to raise the final tarp in our section of the tent. I secured it at the bottom, tying it around a steak thrust into the ground. I stood up and admired our handy work.

"Well," Ernst said, "that went better than I expected." I stood back and looked at the new living space. It was small, just barely big enough for the used sack of a mattress that Ilse had found and our suitcases, but it was alright. It would certainly keep us warm enough against the spring's night air. Celeste pulled back the tarp quietly.

"Nice work boys," She said with a smile, "some of the colonists have made dinner, now would you care to join us, or do you want to stay in your room." She said slyly. Ernst's stomach growled audibly, we hadn't eaten in nearly twenty-four hours, and that was reason enough.

We walked outside of the tent and into a cloud of scents from food coming from the center of the camp. People sat in a large circle around a great fire in the middle of the camp. Pots and plates of crude bread sat around the fire, staying warm and fresh. We sat next to Ilse and Padinsky. Padinsky turned to Ernst, "Ernst?" Everyone looked at him and he started to blush, he was never one for public attention, "Would you mind leading us in grace?" he said with a smile, Ernst looked at him and smiled. Ernst smiled back.

After a short prayer we began to eat. The stews and bread seemed to taste better than what I had eaten at home. Someone much wiser than I said that simplicity is happiness. And they were right. Now that we were here we both felt safe. Padinsky stood up, glass in hand, to address the people.

"People of Priapia," silence quickly fell over the crowd of bohemians, "Tonight, we welcome three new members to our colony. A toast," they raised their glasses, "To our newest outcasts: Celeste, Ernst, and Hanschen. Welcome them, Wasseo!" The crowd gave a hearty response and drank their ale. Celeste was about to raise her glass to her lips, I stopped her.

"Not for you," I pulled the water skin we had packed from my side, dumping out the ale I poured water into the carved wood glass.

"Why not?"

"Alcohol is not good for the baby." She reluctantly grabbed the water back from me. I could feel Padinsky staring at my back.

"What do you know about pregnancy, Rilow? Had one recently?" I turned back to Padinsky, red in the face.

"He's kidding, Hanschen," Ilse said calmly, swiping up the remainder of her food with a scrap of bread. Celeste laughed.

"His father was a doctor." Padinsky nodded.

"All the more reason to keep you." He took a heavy swig of ale; I looked at the fire calmly. So this is what home felt like.

As the festivities of the night calmed down Ilse, Celeste, Ernst and I all headed back to our small tent.

"Good night boys," Ilse said slyly with a wink and a smile before disappearing behind the tarp. Celeste rolled her eyes.

"Good night," She said as well, hugging both of us before disappearing behind the tarp as well. I grabbed Ernst's hand and pulled him into our closed off area.

"Hanschen what are you-" I silenced him with a long kiss. As soon as we broke for air he looked at me, "What was that for?" I brushed his bangs out of his eyes.

"A welcome home gift," I said with a smile, "Welcome home." He smiled and kissed me again. Welcome home indeed.

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So.... did you like it? I hoped so.... I decided to write this chapter completely in Hanschen's point of veiw just because I feel like i haven't been giving him enough face time in this story for some reason and you people deserve some Hernst lovin.... lol. I've also been a little distracted by two other new fanfiction ideas for different catagories (Penguins of Madagascar and Hunchback of Notre Dame... how did that work out?) but don't worry, I will finish this story before I even think about starting a new one for either of those catagories. So know that this is my highest priority... and the Wasseo thing? That's just a saying from my camp.... don't ask. R&R plz!


	15. Hallelujah

So, here is chapter 15! I hope it makes you happy!!! READ IT AND LOVE IT!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THIS SONG OR SPRING AWAKENING..... but I do own Celeste

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Celeste's POV

…_Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelu----jah_

Maybe there's a God above, and all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you  
And its not a cry you can hear at night, its not somebody who's seen the light, its a cold and its a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelu--jah

Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelu---u---jah

Hanschen stopped singing. The fire light reflected in his eyes in hair. We all clapped at his new song. The baby kicked. I put a hand to my stomach, which had grown a considerable amount since we had gotten here nearly eight months ago.

Hanschen sat down next to Ernst who was sitting next to me and kissed him. Never in the time had I known Hanschen had I seen him this happy. And in the past eight months we had been here, we all had changed. Me, mostly in size, as I got more and more pregnant; Ernst still held that look of innocence in him, but he had gotten taller, nearly matching Hanschen in height. But Hanschen, he seemed to change in reverse. He was softer now. His features matched the happiness this place brought him. The happiness his music brought him. The happiness that Ernst brought him.

They had both since moved out of Ilse's tent and into their own. It was about as big as Ilse's, but closer to the edge of camp. Ernst had chosen where they were to live; for once Hanschen didn't even open his mouth when Ernst made the decision. He would give Ernst anything now. Life had been so good for us while we were here. Well, I was not without a hole in my heart.

Since we came here I had not given word back to my mama. How was she? What was she doing? Did she know I was safe? What must she be feeling? And of course, there was Melchior. He had probably returned by now for Christmas break. I had known him for a year. And I missed him most of all. I felt the baby kick again and I smiled. Despite being away from Melchior, I still had him with me.

The only problem was I had not decided what I would do with the child once it was born. I wanted so desperately to return to my mama and Melchior, and yet I knew that I could not care for the child if I was to continue work. My heart had begun to be torn into two, but I was relieved to know that I did not have to make my decision just yet.

I had become so distracted by my own thoughts that I did not notice Padinsky dismiss everyone from the night's activities. Ilse helped me to my feet; we had become good friends since I arrived. We still shared that same tent and I knew that I could tell her anything. She had been through so much and told me her story of her past life, her life here, and her understanding of love. She had lost the one she loved, it was Moritz she said, and she blamed herself for her death. She said that she didn't go through a single day when he didn't come to her mind. I admired her for being such a strong person when her life had been less than pleasant. I don't know if I could cope as well as she if life had dealt me similar cards. Hanschen grabbed my hand as we were walking away.

"Have Ilse check up on you before you go to bed," he said. As I became more pregnant it was crucial for him to check up on my health. However, as I did become more pregnant it began to become more awkward for him to administer a "proper" check up. For that I turned to the women of the colonies, many had been Mid-wives before coming to the colony. Their knowledge of medicinal herbs and remedies alongside with Hanschen's medical knowledge helped to keep my health in check. Hanschen suspected that the baby would come within the month.

I began to worry knowing that I would have to make my decision about whether I stayed or left soon. But I pushed those thoughts to the back of mind. I wanted to avoid that at all costs. I knew Hanschen of all people would understand where I was coming from. He knew what it was like to have to make the decision between someone you love and your duty. But for whatever reason, I did not want to talk to him about this. I felt as if I had some obligation to him, to protect him from my own feelings.

As we came to the tent, Ilse rushed to get a fire going. The December air had left most of us with a layer of frost upon our daily activities. Ilse helped me bring my cot to the fire side and she moved hers as well. We had enough fire wood to keep us warm through the night. I wrapped strips of worn leather around my hands to keep them from getting frost bitten. The thickly woven boots of wool and leather I wore around during the day I kept on my feet. I had a wool blanket from the Rilow Estate still with me, never had I been happier to still have it. The scarf that my mama had made for me last Christmas I kept close to me and often wrapped it around my face to stay warm.

These days, I stayed primarily in the tent drawing. Before heading off to bed I decided to look through some of the drawings in my ratty old leather journal. I smiled at the memories I had made the past year reflected in my drawings. Each picture was a snap-shot of charcoal from my mind. Some were small sketches I had done while bored, others were elaborate enough to be sold, but it was the middle ground of personal drawings that made me smile. Pictures like Ilse picking wild flowers after the first bloom, Ernst reading his bible under a tree of spring, Hanschen sitting at a piano working on some music in the summer heat, some of the women cooking and stoking fires in the autumn; all of these pictures made me smile. That night I felt like these memories meant more than they had in the past. That night I felt that something was going to change.

I was right.

About half way through the night I woke up with pains in my lower body and the base of my skirt was wet. I woke Ilse, worried that something might be wrong with me. She rushed off to Hanschen's tent. They came back with Ernst in tow, both of the boys looking tired and flustered. Hanschen had rushed over so quickly he hadn't even buttoned his shirt all the way.

He put an icy hand to my forehead to check my temperature.

"You don't have a fever," He said warily, "And you said you're having pains in your lower stomach." I nodded as another cramp hit me; I winced slightly in pain, "How often are these pains coming?" He asked taking my pulse.

"About every five minutes or so," I said. He grabbed my hand.

"Stand up!" he said quickly, I did so. There was a wet spot on my cot. He turned to Ilse quickly, "Ilse, go wake the others," She nodded and quickly ran off.

"Hanschen what's going on?" I asked worried.

"You're water broke," I was confused, "The baby is coming." I was so surprised, "lay down, the mid-wives should be here soon to help with the delivery, don't worry." He said calmly, laying me down, brushing the hair out of my face. Ernst stood behind him looking at me with a smile.

"I'll try," I said. In reality my entire being flooded with fear, what if the delivery did not go as planned? What would happen to me? Was everything really going to be alright? I did not know. Ernst walked over and grabbed my hand.

"You'll be fine," He said with a smile, "I promise." With that the mid-wives rushed in.

"Get out, all of you!" One of the older ones said, "We can handle this." Hanschen tried to interject, but they stopped him and hurried him out.

Time passed, the pain in my loins increased, and all my thoughts were hazy. I don't remember much of the birth. I remember screaming, becoming so hot and in so much pain that I couldn't think. I don't know how much time passed. Suddenly, the pain subsided and a cry in the night made me stir from my hazy slumber. The baby was a boy. A healthy, beautiful, baby boy. And it was him. It was Melchior. My breathing was heavy, my brow damp with sweat, and yet I managed to smile. We were both alive and healthy.

"Go get some water," I heard someone say as they heated a knife in the fire and cut the umbilical cord. Ilse ran out of the tent to get the water. As soon as she returned with a bucket of icy water from the river, Hanschen and Ernst came back in. The redness in their cheeks told me that they had not left the outside of the tent. Ernst looked a little shaken from my screaming, but rushed to my side to make sure everything was alright. Hanschen took the child in my arms and washed him before one of the midwives wrapped him tightly in a blanket to shield him from the harsh winter air. She handed the child to me, he was still crying, but Hanschen assured me it was because he was healthy.

He really was beautiful. He looked so much like I thought Melchior would have looked. But then, he opened his eyes in the dim fire light, they were blue like mine. I looked at Hanschen and Ernst and smiled as I held my baby close.

"He's so tiny," Ernst said looking at the small thing. Hanschen even managed a smile. It was then I realized that this child was not just a product of a passionate moment between Melchior and I; he was a product of all of us, of all of our stories.

And yet, as I looked down at the child, my heart sank. I felt no affection. I felt nothing like the way I knew I felt for Melchior or the way I knew my Mama felt for me. I felt no connection with the child.

"Celeste?" I snapped out of my trance, "Celeste, are you alright?" Hanschen questioned reading the look on my face.

"What? Oh, I'm fine," I said trying to put on my most convincing smile. I turned back to the baby, "Beautiful, isn't he?" Hanschen nodded looking at the kid as well, "Would you like to hold him?" Hanschen looked back up at me surprised. He shook his head.

"I couldn't," He said warily. I smiled at him.

"Yes you can," I said, placing the child in his arms. He gingerly held the boy, Ernst smiled at him. We just sat there in silence for some time before Hanschen handed him back to me.

"What are you going to name him?" Ernst said looking at me with innocent eyes. An idea came to me.

"You name him," Ernst was surprised.

" What?" I looked at both of them.

"This child is just as much yours as it is mine, without you both he wouldn't be here." Hanschen looked back down at the boy who was now in Ernst's arms. There was another long silence before he spoke.

"Adam." He said. I smiled as Ernst handed the newly named child back to me and nodded.

"Yes," I said looking at Adam, "That name is perfect." We all sat there in the warmth of the fire's glow as dawn peaked over the horizon on that Christmas day.

Hanschen and Ernst soon returned to their tents as soon as Hanschen was certain that the baby was alright. We were all very tired from the night and needed some sleep, well everyone but Ilse. She left the tent after sleeping for a few hours I assume because when I woke up she was not there, it was nearly dusk. Visitors from all over the camp came to see Adam that night. Padinsky brought a crude crib made of woven willow branches and a mattress of duck feathers and spare cotton into the tent for the little one; some of the women from the previous night had quickly woven the small child some wool clothing and a blanket to keep him warm against the December air. As they left for dinner, Hanschen came back into the tent.

"Just here to check up on him," he said, taking him out of the crib. He took Adam's temperature with the back of his hand and made sure his vital signs were alright. Adam squirmed around in the cold air, whining. He was on the verge of tears when Hanschen wrapped him back up in the blanket and placed him back into his bed, pulling the extra blankets around him.

I looked down at Adam and tried to search for the feelings that Mama had told me about and still I could not find anything. I felt like crying. This wasn't normal, mothers feel something for their children, but I still felt nothing.

"Hanschen," I said stopping him as he was at the tent entrance.

"Yes?"

"I-I have a question," he sat down on my cot, sensing that I had some problem.

"What's wrong?"

"Is it- is it normal for mother's to not feel immediate connecting with their child?" I said looking into his eyes. There was a pause.

"I-I'm not sure, Celeste, I suppose not. Why?" I looked down feeling the tears coming.

"Oh it's… it's nothing. No reason." He put a hand on my chin and tilted up my head.

"What's wrong?" I broke down and wrapped my arms around Hanschen's shoulder, resting my head against his chest, and let the tears come freely.

"I-I don't feel anything, Hanschen," I choked out through tears, "I can't find any feelings for him," I cried onto his shoulder for some time. He comforted me as best he could. After I felt like I could cry no more Hanschen pulled back and tilted my chin up once again.

"These things take time," He said, "You will feel something, I promise." I looked down but he forced my head up again, "I promise." I hoped he would be right.

A few days later I found enough strength to walk outside. Adam was getting baptized that day. I carried him out to the cold river; the entire colony came to see. Adam was clutched close to my chest dressed in a white baptism gown made of left over material from tents. It was not the fine silk or cotton woven with gold that I knew most children were baptized in, but we had to manage with what we were given. Hanschen saw no need to baptize the child; he was obviously not the typical child to be baptized. But Ernst and I both insisted. I wouldn't tell Melchior that his son had been baptized if I chose to leave. He would think it was some conspiracy. I smiled at the thought.

Ernst took the child from my and walked down to the river. I named Hanschen to be Adam's godfather and Ilse as godmother. Ernst took some of the water from the river and dabbed it onto Adam's head, "I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost." Once the ceremony was over I handed Adam to Hanschen and Ilse placed a carved cross around his neck as he tried to move closer to Hanschen to absorb warmth.

Padinsky held a large meal in honor of the baptism.

"We are here to honor and recognize the youngest member of the colony, Adam Joseph Gabor, may he grow to be a valued member of our family. Treat him well and help to raise this child in an image of freedom," Padinsky raised his glass along with the rest of the colony to toast to the young boy, "Wasseo," he finished before taking a large gulp of his drink. I tried my best to smile at all the happy faces looking at me and my son, and still I felt I was living a lie.

Hanschen came into the tent after the feast was over. I had just put Adam to bed after feeding him.

"How are you doing?" I knelt over Adam's crib like a manger and shook my head.

"He reminds me so much of him" I said touching Adam's face as I remembered Melchior's, "And yet, I cannot find those same feelings," A tear left my eye. Since the birth I had become very emotional. Hanschen put a hand on my shoulder. I gripped Hanschen's hand with my own, not looking away from Adam, "How can this be?" I felt Hanschen kneeling beside me.

"Celeste," I looked at him finally, "I can't stand to see you like this anymore," He stood up and took the sleeping Adam into his arms rocking lightly back and forth to make sure the child stayed asleep. After a while he sighed, "You have to go back." I stood up surprised.

"What?"

"You're not happy here," He said, "I see you every day caring for this child, but I know you don't feel anything." I looked at Adam and brushed his cheek. There was another long pause; I looked at Hanschen who was looking lovingly at the child.

"Will you care for him?" Hanschen looked up and smiled.

"Ernst has always wanted a child, as have I," he said slowly. I looked sadly at him, "Yes, I will care for him."

I cried onto Hanschen's shoulder. I thanked him, and at the same time felt like part of my heart was leaving forever. But I knew that the only thing leaving was me. I cried that night not for my leaving, but for the loss of everything we had been through in the past year. I cried knowing that the next few weeks would bring sad goodbyes and heavy hearts.

I looked at Adam after Hanschen put him back in his crib.

"You'll be safe," I said brushing his cheek, "Life will be better for you," I looked to the sky at the hole cut into the roof so the smoke could escape and saw stars, "Life will be better for you," I repeated, "Hallelujah." I said before returning to my cot and fell asleep with a heavy heart.

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so I really hope you enjoyed it! It's been freezing here.......any way, Review! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! you know you totally want to review this after you read it..... do it, or Adam is going to start crying


	16. The Scarlet Line

Hello my wonderful readers! well.... I really don't know what to say..... THis project has been so wonderful to do and has come such a long way in the past month. I hope you enjoy this final chapter of Scarlet Line

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Hanschen's POV

The sunlight peaked through the flaps of the tent waking me up. I moved slightly, feeling the cold air of a May morning blow through. I shivered and Ernst woke up.

"Good morning," He said sleepily pulling the blanket closer around him, "It's freezing…" He said lazily, "can't we just go back to sleep?" I shook my head solemnly and slipped my clothes on before starting a fire, not speaking. There was an uncomfortable silence in the tent.

Soon Ernst joined me by the fire, the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. I looked up at him and smiled a bit.

"Adam's coming today," I said to him with a smile, he smiled back.

"I know," I looked back into the fire. He put a hand on my shoulder and turned me to look at him, "But, that also means that she's leaving." I nodded.

"I know."

"You're going to miss her."

"Yes." Ernst just sat next to me, sharing the blanket.

"I am too." The fire danced around, blowing smoke up into the sky, giving off its warmth. I didn't ever think that this day would come; I don't think I ever wanted it to come. It had been nearly a year since we all came here. We had been through so much together. As much as Celeste had been a pain in my side, she was one of my only friends. She was my only friend. I suppose you could count Ernst as my friend, but I was romantically involved with him, I literally loved him. I couldn't imagine life without either of them. No matter how hard I tried to imagine what life had been without Celeste, I couldn't. We had spent two years of our life together. Two life changing years, and I didn't want to let that go.

I was seventeen, Ernst was seventeen, and Celeste was still three months from her birthday. I couldn't believe that I had met her so long ago. When we were all so young. We were still young, but it still hurt to think of a lifetime without her. Part of me kept trying to tell myself that I didn't need her around – that I wouldn't miss her – but Ernst and I knew better. We would miss her, and I could only hope that she would miss us too.

The fire had burned low; I didn't know how long we had just been sitting there in silence, Ilse walked in.

"Hello boys!" she said with fake cheerfulness, I knew she was hurting too. I turned around to face her and smiled as best I could. Ernst replaced the blanked back onto our bed. Ilse was carrying the wicker crib from her tent. I helped her bring the crib close to our bed. It began sinking in, Celeste was leaving, Ernst and I were getting a child, and life was going to change drastically for us again. I just looked down at the crib, not saying a word.

"Hanschen? Hanschen!" Ilse snapped me out of my trance. I looked up into her eyes, "Are you going to be alright?" she said with true concern.

"I'll be fine," I said, putting Amalie's old teddy bear into the crib uniting old with new. My mind raced back to that time nearly a year ago when I bid my little sister farewell and left my home without a word to my parents. I felt like it was all coming full circle. There isn't a time ever, it occurred to me, without change. Someone's always leaving, or dying, or changing, or birthing, or marrying. Happiness doesn't happen without sorrow. For the first time this day, I smiled. I don't know why, but I did. For the first time today I felt like things were going to work out. I looked up at Ernst who was meticulously fixing the bed, it made me chuckle. Ilse had left, but I saw her outside talking to Padinsky, she looked over, smiled and waved. I smiled back. There was one person that I had yet to see.

I walked slowly to Ilse's tent, savoring the moments. I opened the tent flaps and there sitting in a chair was Celeste, cradling Adam, rocking him and humming that song I had written the night he came. I looked at how much she had changed. Her face was soft still, but those dark stormy blue eyes still caught me and they had matured. She had been through so much and accepted it. She breathed easier, and nothing seemed to frighten her. She looked up and smiled, patting a chair next to her. I came in and sat down.

"Hi," I said leaning forward clasping my hands together.

"Hello," She said rocking Adam. He was nearly six months old and had grown. He was still small, he must have taken after Celeste in that amount, but hair had already begun to come in on his head. He looked at me with the same dark blue eyes as his mother's and held out an arm toward me, "I think he wants you to hold him," Celeste said with a hint of amusement. I took Adam out of her arms and held him, looking down at the young child that I would be raising, and I was filled with awe. Celeste smiled a sad smile.

"Well he's grown," I said trying to lift the sadness.

"Yes, he's good and healthy now." There was an awkward pause.

"All packed?"

"Yes, I'll in a few hours. Do you have all of Adam's things?"

"Yes," I saw her wipe a tear from her face quickly and sniffle, I looked up and wiped another one from her face, "No tears yet, ok?" She held my hand and gave another sad smile.

"I'll try."

"That's all I'm asking," I stood up, "Come on, let's go drop Adam off at my tent and we'll go for a walk." She took my outstretched hand.

"Alright."

Ernst took the baby gladly, he had to get used to our 'son' he said. I nodded and Celeste and I went to take a walk in the woods. The beaten goat path that we had taken when we arrived here was still there, the trees around it were in full bloom as they had been when we arrived. Celeste picked a white blossom off a low hanging tree and placed it in her hair.

"So why did you want to walk with me?" she said looking at the ground.

"I just wanted to talk with you for a while before…" I stopped; I didn't want to say what we both knew what was going to happen. It was a forbidden word that was not to be uttered. She didn't finish the sentence either, but we both knew how it ended.

I don't know how long we walked in silence before we came to that clearing where we had spent the first night away from home. She sat down on a rock and I joined her, in silence. After an uncomfortable amount of time we both began to speak at the same time, laughing at our snafu.

"You first," I said with a smile. She took a breath and looked down.

"I just wanted to say thank you, Hanschen."

"For what?"

"Everything, you – you've helped me so much and I don't think I could give you enough thanks." The tears were in her eyes now.

"I wanted to thank you as well, Celeste."

"For what?"

"You've showed me so much," I said quietly, "and you've had, this impact on me that," I sighed and laughed, "that I can't explain." She smiled shyly, "You've shown me that no matter how hard life can be that there's always something to look forward to, that there's something good in every bad situation."

"Hanschen?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know how much you've helped me these past two years?" I laughed, "I'm serious," she said with barely an accent, "for the first time since my father passed away, I've felt safe. I've felt, happy, being with you and Ernst. You guys are my family." And she was mine. We were not related by blood, but by something stronger than that; a golden thread of friendship and trust that couldn't be broken, "You are truly the greatest friend I have," She uttered quietly turning her head to the ground, I tilted up her chin.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Turn your head down. You have so much, Celeste. Keep looking to the sky, that's what you've taught me. Even when the wind is blowing and you don't want to keep your head up, keep it up, enjoy the wind, and savor it." She smiled as I let go of her chin, "We should go back." I said standing up. She nodded and we took the long way back to the camp.

I readied the small white mare we had come to this place with during the final moments. Tying the cases and bags to the back of the saddle, preparing it for the journey back to town, all that was missing was the rider. My heart was heavy but I would not let my eyes shed tears, not yet. The whole camp had come out to bid her farewell. The crowd gathered at the edge of camp, gabbing about how much they would miss her. But I knew that they wouldn't have the full impression, they didn't know her like I did. My chest physically hurt as if a part of my heart was being torn out. Suddenly a silence like no other fell over the crowd and they parted like the red sea.

Celeste came through, carrying Adam in her arms for the last time. People gave her hugs, words of wisdom, pats on the back, and words of good bye. Padinsky came up to her with Ilse by his side. The colony stood by to listen to what their leader had to say.

"Fraulein Chanson," he paused and smiled as he took her hand, "Celeste. You have been such a contribution to our colony and I know I speak for everyone when I say that we will miss you terribly." He did speak for everyone, it was the degree of how much we would miss her that he was off by, "We could not let you leave without a gift, something to remember us by," He pulled from his pocket a small woven necklace set with a red stone, "Remember these people," she glanced out of the corner of her eye at Ernst and I, "Remember the lessons they have taught you, and remember this place, for you are always welcomed here." He placed the necklace around her neck and she hugged him.

"Thank you," She turned to address the crowd, "I am going to miss you all so much." They applauded her. In the midst of the applause she hugged Ilse desperately and said her goodbyes to the bohemian princess.

With tears in her eyes she walked toward me and Ernst. She held Adam close to her for the last time and kissed his forehead before handing him over to Ernst. She hugged Ernst with the same desperation that she had hugged Ilse.

"Oh Ernst," She said, not breaking the hug, careful not to smother Adam in his arms, "You have been a true friend, I'm going to miss you."

"You'll see me again," He reassured her, but we all knew that it was highly unlikely that we would meet again in this lifetime. She wiped a stray tear from his face and hugged him once more. She gave him a sad smile before coming to me.

We clung to each other as if life depended on it and let our tears come freely.

"So this is what it feels like?" she asked quietly through tears.

"What what feels like?"

"Having part of your heart torn away, having a part of your life striped from you." She buried her head into my chest. I held her tighter.

"I guess so."

"Then don't let go." I tilted her chin up.

"You have to let go of the things that are important to you if you want them to be happy." She started to cry again. I wiped the tears from my own eyes.

"I will miss you most of all, Hanschen."

"And I will miss you." We pulled away after we both felt we could cry no more. In her eyes I could see all that had happened between us and flew back to when we first met. The fear that had once swum in her eyes had been replaced with sorrow and happiness at the same time. It was bitter-sweet closure that we had never thought would come. She clasped the necklace and gave me a smile.

"You'll always be with me," I looked over at Ernst who was cradling Adam.

"And you will always be with us." She hugged me one last time before hoisting herself up onto the horse.

"Goodbye?" I said.

"No, goodbye means forgetting. And there is no way I could forget." She smiled down at me, "head to the sky," she said.

"Face the wind," I said in response giving her a smile. And with that she waved to the colony and sent the white horse into the woods. I watched her as she went, giving her one last glance before she disappeared into the underbrush. Ernst came to stand beside me.

"Are you alright?"

"I'll be fine. We still have a whole life ahead of us." I looked down at Adam, "Change is good." Ernst nodded and kissed my cheek as he turned to go back to the tent. I glanced one last time over my shoulder as if she was going to come riding back into camp, even though I knew she wouldn't, "Face the wind," I muttered to no one in particular before I turned to follow Ernst back to our tent.

Celeste's POV

I stopped the horse in the clearing and looked back at the small path as if he was going to follow me, even though I knew he wouldn't. I wiped a happy tear from my eye before I sent the horse forward once more.

I had not been here for a year, and nothing had changed. The Rilow estate still sat on the hill top. The same lamp post stood at the corner. And the same blue house stood behind it. I did not know if Melchior had returned, or if he had even waited for me. But I could not worry about that now. I spurred the horse up the side of the hill to the estate.

As I came over the crest of the hill my eyes fell over an older woman carrying fire wood to the servants quarters. I jumped off the horse and raced to her.

"MAMA!" I screamed running, she looked up and joyful tears came to her eyes.

"Celeste?" She called to me.

"MAMA!" I screamed running into her arms. She hugged and kissed me, joyful tears falling.

"Celeste, Mon amour!" She said kissing my forehead as we crumpled to the ground. Out of the corner of my eye I saw an older blond woman running to us, her balding husband and small child in tow.

"She's back?" the woman screamed, her face turning into a smile as she too hugged me. Amalie tugged on my skirt.

"Are you staying Fraulein Celeste?" She said with innocent eyes, though she had grown.

"Yes," I knelt to her height and hugged her too, "Your brother sent me to look after you," I said quietly to her. She hugged me tighter. I stood up and addressed Frau Rilow and Herr Rilow, "If you will have me," I stated shyly , "I would very much like to work her again." Herr Rilow looked at me with cold eyes. Frau Rilow did not.

"We do need another hand around the house," She stated not as warmly as she had the first day I arrived here, "You may stay."

"Thank you." I said not tearing my eyes from hers, taking Hanschen's advice. They turned on their heels and walked away, but Frau Rilow shot me a smile as she walked off, letting me know that she was not angered at me. Something in my heart told me that she did not share her husband's critical view of their son.

Mama hugged me again. Suddenly I remembered there was someone else I had to see. I told her I would be back later, and raced off back to the village.

That wonderful blue house stood like a beacon of hope once more in the fading daylight. I paused ever so slightly before racing to the door. I hesitated knocking on the door, questions raced through my mind. What if he had forgotten me? What if he had found someone else? What if he didn't love me any more in my absence? I pushed those thoughts to the furthest recess of my mind and rapped on the door. I heard footsteps coming faintly from within the house. A twist of the knob, and there he was. Standing at the door just as beautiful as the day I met him.

"Celeste?" He said quietly in disbelief.

"Hello Melchior," I said just as quietly, he was speechless, "Melchior before you get mad I-" I couldn't finish my sentence before he kissed me. I melted into the kiss. It had been so long since I had been with him I never wanted it to end. He held me close and I could sense how much he had missed me.

"I couldn't be mad at you," He said not letting me go, I could hear his heart beat through his button down shirt, "I'm so happy you're safe."

"I missed you."  
"Don't leave me again." He said with dead seriousness.

"I won't, I promise." He enveloped me in another kiss.

It has been nearly ten years since I last saw Hanschen, or Ernst, or Adam. But there isn't a day that goes by when I don't miss them or think of them. A part of my heart would always belong with them in Priapia.

Life after Priapia was difficult to settle in to. I did not tell Melchior about Adam, I had told him that Adam had died in child birth. He was heartbroken. But I couldn't tell him I had given Adam to Hanschen and Ernst, he would be angry with me. It's been my little secret since.

I resumed lessons with Melchior. Soon my teacher once more became my lover. Three years after my return, my lover became my husband. Melchior and I have two kids now. Moritz Gabor is seven years old and Wendla Gabor is three. Unlike Adam I felt a profound connection to these children; I love them with all my heart. But I did not name them. Melchior did. I felt like he had a right to these children and should name them. They now lead better lives than those who they take their names from had lived.

Ten years have come and gone and so much has changed. Life is always changing.

I still use the color scarlet in everything I draw. It stands for so much. The happiness of a bride's bouquet on her wedding day, the blood of a new born baby, the dark dresses of mourners, a farewell hug, friendship and love, all share the color scarlet. The only difference between them is one, thin, scarlet line.

The End

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I Really hope that you all enjoyed this! If you have any questions at all regarding this story please send me a message! I truly have to thank all of the readers for making this such an amazing experience and making this story my most sucessful to date! on my profile page is a poll that you need to fill out concerning what I should write next. I thank you all with immense grattitude for keeping me going when this story was hitting some lows and making me feel amazing when I wrote something you liked! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Isabella387


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